stargazing. || soongyu

⇸ ten.

-

"what the hell is wrong with you?"

soonyoung felt paralyzed. he took it. all of it. every ounce of pain, he let it sink into his body like a sponge. he couldn't cry, no more tears were left. he couldn't move, his limbs were frozen. he couldn't scream, no noise would come out.

he felt so stuck. seeing wonwoo's eyes burning into his soul, throwing insults from one aspect to another about soonyoung. his figure was in the other corner of the room, contemplating.

"why am i even with you?"

he stood up and began to walk around. soonyoung watched every movement, noticing his phone constantly going off and watching his figure go to pick it up.

"oh look, it's a girl texting me. she even knows you're no good to me."

"so worthless."

"are you gonna do anything about it?"

soonyoung felt his body tense up, but he couldn't move. nothing came.

"do something!"

wonwoo's figure came running towards soonyoung, but before he could get to him,

soonyoung woke up.

his body immediately sprung up, his body shivering, yet sweat buds were starting to form on his hairline. he could barely breathe, and starting coughing harshly. tears began to fill his eyesight.

where did i go wrong?

do i really deserver someone now?

am i really not good enough for anyone?

"it was just a nightmare soon, don't worry about it." soonyoung tried to calm himself down, squeezing the rabbit in his hands and holding it close to his chest. but it didn't seem to help too much.

wonwoo engraved the words into his head every time they fought. how worthless, fat, stupid, and ugly he was. how he'd never be able to accomplish his dreams. it was all bottled up into soonyoung's head, not letting anyone know he said such harmful things to him. when the bottle got full, he took all the anger out on himself and left marks for the next day. he could go through a whole package of bandages a day if it was really bad, but that was never too often.

"just a nightmare..." soonyoung said in a low whisper, kissing the rabbit and laying back down. he checked the time. 4 am.

his phone had gotten tons of notifications from one time, which could've explained a lot from the dream. it was from a group chat. him, mingyu, jeonghan, seokmin, and two other numbers.

turning off his phone, soonyoung got up and went out into the living room. he plopped his body onto the couch, the cool feeling relaxing his body. the cold felt super nice on his bare arms and legs after it feels like he was sweating.

after a while, he saw mingyu appear.

"hey hyung,"

mingyu smiled and sat on the ottoman across from soonyoung.

"you know, i've always glad to meet new people, but you're different. don't ever listen to what wonwoo says, don't let him haunt your thoughts. because now that i'm here, you will be protected at absolutely all costs."

"now wake up, a new day has come upon us. i'll see you later."

soonyoung doesn't ever remember falling asleep, because he woke up to see jeonghan sitting on the couch sipping a cup of coffee.