Never with Me (Book 1)

[19]: Gone

        Sitting here in the middle of my meadow.  The sun casting a spot light on me.  My legs tucked under me as I sit on the ground.  The train of my dress pooling around my feet.  It was like having the night sky at my feet, and the sun above it.  The jewels of my dress causing the rays of sunlight to refract around me.  Little spots of white light dancing around me.  The soft blades of grass at my feet, cool to the touch..  I had been here for a few hours, just savoring the last moments of this life.  Watching as monarch butterflies skip from flower to flower around me.   I picked up the blade that I had laid down in the grass when I had first arrived here.  I used my index finger, and slide it across the blade feeling the cold metal, ignoring the slight stinging sensation the silver was causing. 

        With the dagger still in my hand, I laid down on my back.  Looking up at the sky, a single tear escaping its confines.  I wish I had been able to see Alex, Abby, and Damien one last time.  I hope they understand.  I hope they live.  I let the memories I had of Damien cross my mind.  Of him swimming with my brother and I as kids.  The smiles he use to give me.  How we use to laugh.

        Then I let the alternate ending I could have had with him.  The life I would have had, had I been truly his.  Laying in this same meadow, with him over me.  Smiling down, and leaning down and kissing me.  Speaking words of love, and promises of forever.  If only.  If only... 

        As I let the last of my what ifs evaporate from my mind, I lifted both arms above me, the dagger in my right hand.  Placing the blade to my left arm, I dug a deep vertical cut into it using the blade.  I watched as blood began to seep down my arm and began to pool at my shoulders.  Placing the dagger in my left hand, I continued to do the same to my left arm.  I began to feel a lightness in my head from the sudden blood loss.  I took the dagger, that was still held in my left hand, and sank it to the hilt into my chest leaving it there so that I could not heal.  I felt as the pain began to take over my whole body.  The silver of the dagger burning me.

        My breathing shallowed and becoming hitched.  I could feel my heart beats slowing, becoming less and less strong.  I heard my wolf as she howled for the last time inside of me.  Death was coming.  My eyes became heavy, and the last conscious thought I had, was the person that was always there.  Damien.

        Before his face could fully fade, and I lost vision. I lifted my hand to the face my mind had conjured up for me.  Using the last of my strength and breath, I whispered to him.

"I will love you for eternity.  I take a part of you with me."

And with that, the darkness consumed me, with Damien as the last thing I ever thought about.