Vivian

Chapter 6: A Childhood Friend

I was  still thinking about my counselling session with aunt Silvia when I decide to refresh my mind by treating myself to some madala's soccer  at the Olympic Youth Development Centre (OYDC). Being an ardent fan of football, I fond myself a nice spot in the terraces and I was innocently enjoying Madala's football at display. Knowing the fact that the place is always a nice hunting ground for young boys and girls, I did not intend to stay long least someone should confuse me with someone on a hunting expedition.

I was preparing to take my leave when someone called out my name from behind. But knowing how common my name is, I decided not to be bothered about that least I embarrass myself like I did one time when I stupidly misunderstood four for Paul. After a few seconds someone came and stood before me saying, "I can't believe my eyes so it's actually true it's you!" I was thrown into confusion not knowing what to do or say the only thing which saved that person from being embarrassed by me was the fact that she was not just a woman but a beautiful woman.

"Yes it's me and who is this beautiful lady?" I asked. "You are becoming forgetful don't tell me you don't remember me?" She said. "Your face looks familiar but I can't seem to recall where we have met before." Said I. "St Charles Lwanga Catholic Charismatic Renewal Movement, does that ring any bells in your mind?" She asked. "Don't tell me you are that little prayerful girl named Irene!!" I exclaimed. "That's me you are surprised that I have grown so fast and so big." Joyfully she said.

We spent a good thirty or so minutes buried in our reminiscences and everything was flowing smoothly and nicely not until I asked her about her spiritual life. She looked at me and tears started running in her eyes, "sorry I didn't mean to make you cry, just forget about it I won't ask that again. With tears still running in her eyes and trying so hard to stop them, she said to me, "No! Don't stop it's not your fault that am crying in fact I was about to ask you if I can talk to you in confidence." Feeling relieved, I said, "you are more than welcome just let me know when you are ready to talk." "Let's meet next week today at five in the evening on this very spot." She said.

After a brief spell of sorrow, we reverted to our joyful reminiscing and I escorted her all the way back to her apartment. On my way back, I tried to think what could be the reason why Irene was crying, I couldn't imagine such a peaceful young women going through such an emotional breakdown.

True to her request, we met a week later at the same spot and like her name she was a very peaceful young woman. When I saw her approaching, I took to my feet and slowly walked towards her. On reaching her, I opened my arms and gave her a tight hug, the embrace felt warm and sweet it reminded me of so many things both the seen and the imagined.

After exchanging our initial pleasantries, we found ourselves a quite spot within the grounds and before we both took our seats, I excused myself to get us two soft drinks. On my return, I found Irene going through her mobile phone and just to kill her engagement with her phone, I mockingly said, "I have been trying to become interesting like a phone so that people always carry me with them everywhere they go." Effortlessly, she put on a faint smile, and dropped her mobile in her small fancy hand bag.

"Longtime no see what have you been up to or should I say what has been up to you, which one is which?" I broke the silence. "Well, nothing much only the dilemma of having someone up to me." With a renewed determination, she remarked. "That's odd someone after your steps, did you go away with their jewelry?" in jest, I asked. Torn between laughter and shock at my question, she smiled and sighed, "Nay!"

Her sigh was followed by a dead silence, a silence that was impossible to ignore, a silence that shouted on top of its voice demanding to be heard. The silence was succeeded by two drops of tears. That was all she needed to gather her courage and face her dilemma. With a slight tremor in her voice, she finally found her words and began talking saying, "The past few months have not been easy for me, I have been looking for someone to talk with but all I have been finding are people whom I can only talk to."

Slightly caught off guard by her statement, I interrupted her flow and asked what she meant. In her response, she explained to me that there are certain people in life whom you can talk to and others whom you can talk with. A person you can talk to is someone who can hear what you are saying but cannot relate with what you are saying, someone who can hear but cannot feel what you are feeling, and someone who cannot put themselves in your shoes. But someone you can talk with is someone who can not only hear but listen to what you are saying, someone who can relate with your situation, someone who can picture themselves in your shoes, and someone who can feel what you are feeling.

Satisfied and startled by her explanation, I allowed her to continue. With a sense of control, she composed herself and continued saying, "Four months ago, I was nearing the peak of my prayer life and I could feel myself within touching distance of heaven. One fateful evening, I decided to go for personal adoration at the parish upon finishing my prayers, I found the parish priest standing outside the church grounds a few metres away from the parish house. When he saw me coming out, he greeted me and offered me a cup of tea at the house. In my innocence I warmly accepted the invitation. After the cup of tea, I excused myself to go home. Father graciously offered to me a lift as he was using the same route to get a few things at the market.

On our way, the priest began a conversation which shattered my spiritual life, a conversation that changed my world view, a conversation that made me gasp for air, a conversation that brought my mental processes to a stand still, a conversation that almost made me drop dead on the car seat. As he was driving, father began asking me about my love life I was very uncomfortable with his questions and I made brief answers to them. Then out of nowhere, he proposed to me that he wanted me to be his intimate friend. For the next few minutes, I went mute I didn't know what to think or say. Sensing my perturbation, the priest shamelessly told me to think about it.

From that day till now, I do not want to step my foot in a church. I have heard so many such stories about priest but I never thought that one day I will be the victim. Am one person who used to hold priests in high esteem, someone who used to respect them a lot. Especially for our parish priest, the man had won my respect trust and admiration but now, I have completely lost everything for him and as regards other priests, I don't think I can find enough strength within me to trust or respect them. That evening, I felt what hell feels like."

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