Wala lang.

II. Wala lang - Kaibigan

Naalala mo pa ba?

yung unang beses tayong nagroad trip?

hindi ko maexplain kung gaano ako kasaya noon.

ewan ko pero

parang simula non, we started talking na.

you are fun to be with pala.

di ka lang pala kj na kilala ko,

Natasha also told me na you hated me.

and obvious naman yon,

kaya nga ngayon, naguguluhan ako sayo.

ewan ko sayo.

masyado kasi akong masiyahin at maharot.

that's why you hated me, diba?

you were exact opposite.

you were quiet and calm.

i am obsessive, you're apathetic.

i am loud, you're silent.

i am like this, and you're like that.

andami dami nating pagkakaiba, madalas tayo magtalo,

we're always against each other and we really fight a lot.

lagi mo akong binu-bully.

but as i get closer to you,

we both found a way to get along with each other.

October 16,2019

we held a one day sports activity. i was part of the volleyball team but i was only a substitute player.

they told us that only the "worthy" one's would be the only ones that would be playing.

ang supportive mo pa nga non sakin e,

sabi mo sakin kaya ko yon.

but on that day. i didn't get the chance to play.

you saw me that i was sad and i quitted the team right in between the game.

i was holding myself up not to breakdown.

nandiyan kayo eh,

sating lahat ako lang nakapasok sa district's team.

you were proud of me—

all of you were.

and you were mad,

not because i failed your expectation,

but because you knew i felt worthless.

you were mad because everyone paid the same amount of effort and time to practice for that one day event

pero lahat ng nilaan ko para sa araw na yon, bigla na lang nabalewala.

i felt like I wasn't good enough.

you felt i was sad,

i felt you were mad,

everyone was.

our friends confronted the manager of the team

pero ikaw,

you did something better than confronting them—

you comforted me.

you played with me instead,

you told me it was fine.

naalala ko din yung naglalaro tayo tas sabi ko pepper tayo.

you asked me how and i told you "recieve, toss and spike"

naalala ko pa—

natamaan mo ako sa mukha and i almost cried because napunta sa mata ko yung glasses ko

you hugged me,

telling me sorry.

sinabi ko sayo ayos lang.

pero inis ako sayo non,

pero noon lang kita nakita na sincere at  yun yung unang beses na yinakap mo ako.

alam ko wala lang yon sayo,

alam ko naman na nagsosorry ka lang,

pero yun.

yun yung unang beses na sumagi sa isip ko—

"ang sweet mo pala."

and random people asked us to play with them.

ang ganda ng teamwork natin,

ikaw yun setter ko, ako middle mo.

and you injured your thumb when you were setting

and i injured my thumb while blocking,

you were still proud of me kahit na di naman official match yon.

tawa lang tayo ng tawa kasi parehas tayo ng injury but paguwi ng bahay pero naglaro pa din tayo sa bahay niyo

kaya pinagalitan tayo ng parents natin hahahaha

if this happened before,

you'd put the blame on me and save yourself out of that but

that time—

you defended not only yourself but also me,

you told our parents na it's part of sports and we get hurt sometimes to learn

tas narealized ko

yun dating taong wala lang sakin,

kaibigan ko na.

tapos, lagi lagi kita hinahabol noon kasi ang bango mo

kahit na di pa tayo close non,

i was addicted to your smell.

i had weird obsession with smell and yours is my favorite.

you always told me to stop.

so you stopped wearing your perfume.

and so i didn't have the reason to chase you,

you've always asked me why do i like perfumes and smells

because it's my only way to find out your identity, malabo kasi mata ko.

i couldn't see you when i am not wearing my glasses,

di ko alam kung bakit pero ang lakas ng pangamoy ko and i remember how you smell,

and i was kinda disappointed when you stopped it

pero.

you started wearing your perfume again.

and so i am willing to chase you just to smell you again

because i missed how you smelled,

you smelled familiar and original at the same time,

but you didn't run this time.

ang weird no?

kahit malayo ka, alam kong ikaw yan.

kaya ansaya ko nung hindi mo na ako sinabihan na tumigil.

alam kong wala lang yon sayo,

alam ko din nagsawa ka lang sabihan ako na tumigil,

pero yun.

pero napasaya mo ako don,

ang babaw ko noh? pero salamat dahil

yun dating taong wala lang sakin,

kaibigan ko na.