But I Shall Tell

Chapter 12 - BTS.

2015

I'll gaze at the beauty of your Snow White,
When the winter is gone.

---

*What The Pupa Thinks*

I wait at stops that you will never cross again.
Never again to see the yesterdays smiling at you and me.
I do not leave the windows open deliberately.
I just forget, that the sunshine is needed for hearts and the sea.

Beyond the buttoned lips where I once resided
You call of me no more; No more like a wrong bird on a wrong tree.
I wonder what the pupa thinks the first
Whether, it would become a sparkling butterfly or a stinging bee.

You looked and moved away I remember a day.
I am not mad, not unlike you, I am sad at moments. Then plea.
Walking with me on the streets of Paris, your diary said.
For holding hands now the fingers of strangers would be.

But now I know, my memories will fade away.
The stars will sleep of loneliness, and then there would be no more we.
You will still be the butterfly, I'll let the pupa know.
I will let the window know my crying heart and the sea.

---

There was a delay of 5 hours at the International Airport of Amsterdam. Crossing from one terminal to the other takes a lot of time, and if you are late, better luck with your next flight.

As all the international airports, they did not allow any liquid in hand to cross the  security check point.

"Breakfast?" Ashley asked. She took in charge of showing the airport to the newbie. She was kind of child like in a way. At least she was letting him stop at places and see things, new things that he hadn't seen before in his life.

They were walking away from a Currency Exchange shop. "It's embarrassing," Maan said.

"Silly you." Ashley blushed. They sat in a Cafe shop and the waiter came up with a menu.

"Goedemorgen," said the waiter. He held the menu and waited for them to take it.

"Dank u Meneer," Ashley said, and accepted the menu card. She looked proud of her accomplishment, she raised an eyebrow to just showcase that. She clearly was victorious.

The food tasted good - burger with maple syrup and orange juice - they complemented the waiter after the bill was paid.

1 hour and 30 minutes more left to board the plane. It was in a walk able distance from where they were seated. The main gate was visible to the eye which was a minute away from them.

"So what you doing in Toronto, Maan?" Ashley put her feet on the flat chair and sat, bending backwards. It was cozy.

"Student." Maan said. He stood watching people of different races walking here and there. A first time.

"Don't you look too old to be a student?" She giggled.

She wasn't wrong, he was 26 years old.

"26 and I made it." He smiled. "And you, Ashley?"

"17. We moved to Toronto 2 years ago, my parents." Outside the glass wall, planes were landing and some ready to take off. "I'm a student too."

"Don't you look too young to be travelling alone?" said Maan, with a smirk.

"I'm an independent woman. Huh!" She removed an earphone from her backpack, plugging one end to her phone and pushing two balls of its other end to her ears. "BTS," said Ashley.

"A what?" said Maan, looking puzzled.

"My besti, she's a die hard fan of BTS. A Korean boy band. Don't say you never heard of it before." Giving an accusing look, she passed the earphone to Maan.

Fake Love, a melodious tune. Though the song was in Korean language, few words - just few words - were in English. "Nice. You really like her, don't you?" said Maan. Handing back the earphone to her.

Earphone in just one ear, she had lowered the music. "No one has ever disliked her, not a single soul so far. AND SHE IS MY BESTIE." said Ashley. People were looking at them.

Was she too loud?

A Russian couple who had their passing board in hand were staring at the screen which was placed slightly on the top. Many people had gathered from different countries. Africa, Russia, Germany, France, Afghanistan, Korean, India, Philippines and many more.

Maan stared at her face, there was a glow. "Does this besti of yours have a name or do I just call her rain?" said Maan.

For this, he saw Ashley flip and sit straight. 

"Are you a stalker?" said Ashley, in a police tone. Her expressions had gone pale.

"I could be, depends whom you want me to stalk." said Maan, he slightly lifted his shoulders in a sign which meant "may be." "By the way, I didn't like that BTS song, not for the first timer." He shook his head in disapproval. "And what's with the stalker?"

"Rain."

"Yes. Rain is my favorite word, Ashley. Didn't you read my poem 'Diary of Another'?" said Maan.

She hadn't given must attention to the word, rain in the poem 'Diary of Another.' She wasn't satisfied.

"I see," said Maan, taking out his laptop from his backpack, unlocking the screen, going to the page of a new poem and handing it to her. "Take this, we still have time. Just don't panic, Ashley."

With less confidence she took the laptop and read the next poem, searching for his favorite word.

---

*A Dead Child's Dream*

And, on the day if we meet, what shall we be?

A room with age
Perhaps.

Perhaps, a rose and a grave.
For there used to be a Rain.
For the thousands silent sits.
Unresolved.

Resolve, so murmured time.
So,
I ask, what shall we be?

Bars, irons, sinking ships?
A dead child's dream?
Dear,
What shall we be?

---

*Gabelle and the eye*

Thorns flowers sees a Rain
Only gabelle like a chain
Thorns flowers dry shy
Missed the gabelle and the eye
Here's a forest now what's inside
Does it slur or does it guide
Thorns flowers smile awhile
For the living and the mile

---

*In the absence of authors*

The third letter read 'the third bird died.'
So,
I left a note as I rose,
"It was not pretty to cross sands, Rain."

In a basket of shadows lived a dream,
Of course, you had to shine.
And whisper and get drunk and move,
Bathing spines and leaves across worlds.

I would run with fingers like frogs,
From branch to branch like sadder books
In the absence of authors, unforgiving.

Desperate to climb, I wondered, my dear,
30, 000 eggs and one bird
And two bird
And three bird

---

*Wall in the Mirror*

Will it be less empty, your hands on my chest?
I wonder.

What is it you see in me
When you call my name and only after hers,
In having time to see the meadows cry?

For there are lands in my heart,
Where the sober fishes that cross bridges, die.
And alone, I am left all over again in the Rain.

So,
Before I sleep on the wall in the mirror
My sorrow, sweep away some broken pieces

----

"What about Rain?," said Maan.

Ashley was reading the poems like a worm. "What?" she said. "Mmmm."

"You don't look good, everything okay?" said Maan. With a glance to the gate, stating that it was time to take board the next flight.

I'm good. You sure you are not a stalker?" said Ashley, in a questioning face.

"You need a doctor, unfortunately I'm not one." said Maan, and got up from the chair. He picked up his backpack.

Ashley narrow her eyebrows.

"My besti's name is Josea Rain." Ashley said.