i will wait

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"what do you mean i can't see him?" Frank questioned.

"Frank you just can't. Dallon doesn't know you're here. if he did you would be dead right now. i've kept you a secret so you can live." Bert explained.

Frank grew irritated. "what the fuck does that have to do with me seeing him?"

"if Dallon sees you, he'll shoot you himself right on the spot. if you thought i was a cold blooded bastard, you have another thing coming. Dallon is one of the meanest generals the army has ever met. he was surrounded by war as a kid. his father was patrolling one day and an unwanted killed him. he despises unwanteds Frank. if he even smells you, you're fucked. i just can't let you out." Bert explained in the calmest voice he could muster. it wasn't much because he was speeding up with every sentence.

Frank let it go. "so when can i see him?" he sat back.

Bert sighed and rubbed his neck. "i'm not going to lie to you Frank, i don't think you can." Bert looked back at the small boy in front of him. he was vulnerable right now. Bert didn't want to do anything stupid. "tell you what," Frank looked Bert in the eyes. "if by any chance Dallon has to leave for any reason, i'll let you stay with him until Dal comes back." Frank smiled. "if. that's a huge if iero. please, don't get your hopes up." Bert concluded.

"thank you Bert. even though you aren't always the nicest, this is nice of you. i appreciate it. i really do." Bert nodded and left. there was nothing left to say.

-

it was less than a month later, once the battle had ended, Dallon was sent back to D.C.

Gerard's state hadn't gotten any better. no new improvements. no signs of recovery. he was still in a coma and it didn't seem like he was going to come out of it any time soon.

"west wing. be quiet. if anyone asks, tell them i sent you." Bert unlocked the cell door. "you now how to get back to camp?" he asked once Frank had met him on the other side of the bars. Frank nodded. "good. leave 10 minutes after me. don't let anyone see you." he began to walk away but he stopped and turned around. "and remember. i'm not doing this for redemption in Gerards eyes. i'm doing this out of the kindness of my heart. it's what Gerard would want and i know you want to too. but between us. if he's gonna get with either of us," he whispered, "it should be you. you're better for him. i already fucked up anything that we might've had. he hates me now and i can't do anything to fix that. he's a good guy." Bert smiled. then he dropped it. "break his heart and i'll break you." he said with a straight face. of course it cracked and they both laughed for a little bit.

Bert isn't that bad of a guy. he's just not the best with people.

-

"what's in the IV?" Frank asked one of the nurses.

she shrugged. "beats me. Dallon just handed me a bag and told me to insert an IV. i would ask what it was but with Dallon....you can't really ask questions. you just...do" she continued to tidy up Gerards room.

"do you think he needs it to stay alive?" Frank kept poking what he hoped wasn't a bear.

"definitely not." she shook her head. "we've already given him the glucose and one round of antibiotics. he doesn't need much else." she walked over to the IV and checked the bag. "it's cloudy. it's not supposed to be-" she picked up her radio from her pocket and spoke into it. "Jamia, i need you to bring some water and some morphine. both in IV drip please. thank you." she put the radio back and stopped the flow of the substance into his tube. she unhooked it and walked over to the sink.

"can i smell it?" Frank asked.

she froze. "can you......what?"

"smell it." Frank repeated.

she walked back over to Frank and hesitantly handed him the bag. he punctured bag and sniffed it.

"pentobarbital" he said inspecting the bag. (pentobarbital is what doctors use to induce a coma. it's like sleep juice)

"how can you tell?" she asked. 'he was definitely full of shit' she thought.

"here smell it. it has an alcohol like smell to it." he said handing her the bag. she took it warily and hesitantly sniffed the bag.

he was right. "how do you know that?" she asked as she dumped the bag in the sink.

"i was in medical school for some time until i turned 18." he watched her dump out the fluid. "i manufactured medicines. i know the uses and side effects of almost all of them. the new ones that the government uses? i helped make that. of course i didn't think too much of it at the time." he explained. she nodded along.

"here's your water and morphine Lynz." the nurse Frank assumed to be Jamia walked in and handed the other nurse, Lindsey, the bags.

"thank you J." Lyn-z replied and hooked the bags up to Gerards IV.

"anything else?"

"no, that should be it."

Jamia nodded and slowly closed the door behind her.

-

Lyn-z left Frank to be alone with Gerard.

the room was way too white and much to quiet for Frank to be comfortable. the only sound filling the air was oxygen machine.

Frank sat in the only chair in the corner of the room and looked at Gerard. they'd done all this work and gotten so far. he'd gotten over the withdrawals and he'd even begun to remember some things from his past. but now? now he lay unconscious, practically dead, in a firm hospital bed.

Frank thought back to when they were younger. before Gerard was sent off. they would hang out almost everyday. they'd do everything together. Frank was the first person Gerard came out to. Frank was also the first person to find out about Gerards boyfriends. granted they never lasted very long. Frank was a scary little dude.

He remembered that time they went ice skating on the lake by the park. he remembered how pink Gerards cheeks were and how brightly he smiled. he remembered how it was Gees first time and he kept slipping and how Frank would catch him every time.

he remembered that really weird party they went to in high school. it was lame so they ditched and went to the park. it was a warm autumn evening and everything was still. no little kids running around, no adults to judge. it was just the two of them. and they kissed. and it was perfect.

Frank looked back at Gerard and  remembered that Gerard didn't even remember him. Gerard probably didn't remember anything from where he was laying.

"Gerard, i-" his voice caught in his throat.

'this is stupid. he probably can't even hear me.' he thought.

"i miss you."

'why am i still talking?'

"i don't like seeing you like this. if i thought you not remembering me was bad, huh, i was wrong. i just- i was just thinking, and i remembered some stuff i doubt you'd remember. like that time i took you ice skating on the lake. it was your first time and boy you sucked." he laughed. "that face you made as you slipped. it was so precious- you are just so precious and i can't believe that you're stuck like that." Frank let out a shaky breath. "and because i'm a stubborn bastard. i'm going to wait here until you wake up and i don't care if you come out with half the brain cells, i'm still going to love you."

The End. ~Frerard~Where stories live. Discover now