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『 PUREBLOOD PRINCESS 』 ˗ˏˋ 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖛 ˎˊ˗
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PRIOR TO THE BREAKUP, Draco had this idea that there was method to his madness. Every cranky morning, every unfulfilled moment, it has always worked out for him in the end. It seemed that even having made many mistakes, he still had the girl, and the position in the social hierarchy to clutch onto when things got a little too dark in his life. So naturally, when he lost half of what he felt anchored him down to earth, Draco almost felt as if he was floating off into the abyss of the universe. They say you never realize what you have until it's gone, and those words have never rung more true to him than now as his eyes fix on the dormitory ceiling.
The thing is, he's never loved a girl before - in a non platonic sort of way . . . He loves Cece and Pansy, because they're like the sisters he's never had. They don't shower him with questions he doesn't feel like answering, they're just there when he needs them, they understand when his actions are not worth being understood. And as of late, Draco knows he's been especially terrible. Merlin knows why any of his friends still talk to him, because even he makes himself miserable. It's less than preferable to wake up, look in the mirror and wonder the type of person he's going to be that day; but he can't for the life of him help it! There's no controlling whether he wants to snap at any and every soul that attempts to speak to him, or it's just another normal day. Draco's mood can go from burning hot to freezing cold in the blink of an eye. Frustrating is what it is. He's expertly demonstrated his ability to drive people away in the physical form of Crystal, who was in fact (as much as he likes to tell himself she wasn't) his best friend.
Was.
But Draco has never loved Crystal. Not like . . . that. Not like he loves the crispness of the air on winter mornings, and not like he loves the pumpkin pasties Dobby prepares by his request the moment he sets foot in the manor for Christmas holidays, not like he should love a girl and not like a girl deserves to be loved.
Draco knows that much at least.
He's never been good at any of the sort - expressing his emotions in a healthy way has always proved a task for the Slytherin due to his stern upbringing. Neither Lucius or Narcissa have ever encouraged their son to feel. Hence why nowadays, he kind of just, doesn't. To be a Malfoy translates to several pretences, but to be a soft and no good child who's unable to deal with his own inconveniences is not among them. If he never gives them the chance, he can't disappoint his parents - even so, he's already done it by causing the girl his parents had prearranged him to marry to beak up with him.
