Wanted Dead or Alive | 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑

5 - FORGIVING THE DEVIL

SEASON 1, EPISODE 18

Only a few hours had passed since Mara last spoke with the Winchesters and, once again, she found herself caught between a rock and a hard place. She now understood why many of her cadaverously angelic kin refused to converse with humans any longer than they were required to. After just one conversation with a few humans, Mara found that her immense feelings of guilt had grown to an unimaginable portion, and she didn't know how to fix it.

Returning John's journal had originally been her attempt to wash the crimson stains off her hands. She had no 'Plan B', as the Winchesters often called it. She'd never had to worry about cleansing herself of inner turmoil before, and now that both Kat and Dean had broadcasted their reluctance to forgive her, she was beginning to feel yet another emotion that she'd had no knowledge of prior to her conversation with the Winchesters. If she had to guess what it was, she'd classify the unusual emotion as 'hurt'. But she'd never known that a feeling as simple as hurt could bear so much agony.

The burning wound their conversation left on Mara's heart was only torn open again and again as she was forced to watch every move the Winchesters made. If it was up to her, she would have left and ran as far away from the hunters as she could. Fleeing would free her from the uneasy and unexplainable chills she got every time she looked at Dean, at least. And yet, her vigilance seemed to be a necessity, if only a necessity dictated by the ruby red ring that was enclosed around a demon's finger.

Mara's train of dismal thoughts were abruptly interrupted when Sam, his eyes glued to the laptop in front of him, said, "It wasn't easy to find but you were right."

Dean, in response to Sam's words, simply brought a ceramic mug to his lips as Kat spoke in his place, "About the sh...whatever that thing is?"

Sam nodded, and his sister took his nod as an invitation to sit next to him. She plopped down onto the mattress of the bed Sam was seated on, nudging him with her shoulder in a gesture to slide over. Sam did so, and waited for Dean to look up from the motel room's coffee maker to continue speaking.

"Shtriga is a kind of witch," he began, shooting Kat an irritated look as she turned his laptop to face her own slight figurine. She simply shrugged in response to his half-hearted glare as he continued, explaining, "They're Albanian, but legends about them trace back to Ancient Rome. They feed off spiritus vitae."

It didn't take much for Mara to decipher what it was that the trio of hunters were talking about. She'd been drifting in the background of their repetitive and often violent lives for weeks, and for the last few days, their sole interest had been tracking down a monster that appeared to be sucking the lives out of young children. Of course, Mara had known what species the monster was from the start. It was often deemed obligatory that reapers be aware of the other supernatural creatures that existed around them.

Refraining from aiding the Winchesters in their search for information on the shtriga only added to Mara's guilt, but there was nothing that could be done about it. Katarina, if not Dean as well, already had suspicions that Mara was following them, and even that minuscule speck of information was more than Azazel would want them to know. In fact, Mara had no doubt that Azazel would plague her with torturous punishments if he found out she'd revealed herself to the Winchesters in the first place.