Wanted Dead or Alive | 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑

12 - HUMANITY

SEASON 1, EPISODE 20

Mara should have been relieved. She made it out of the Impala without a scratch, and John actually seemed to be warming up to her. Well...he didn't glower at her every time she spoke, at least, and he hadn't tried to kill her when Dean had playfully shoved her shoulder.

Alas, despite the astonishing amount of luck she seemed to have, she couldn't even pretend to be happy. She supposed that was a good thing, because she was supposed to be acting depressed at the death of her "father", but it didn't excuse the weight that was pressing on her shoulders. Mere seconds after they'd explained Mara's pretend alias to John, he'd updated them on the situation with Azazel.

Mara knew it hadn't been likely, but she'd hoped that maybe, just maybe, John had killed Azazel and Meg. She'd hoped that he'd ended her contract by way of killing the demon that held it, but after listening in on a conversation between John and his children, she learned that Azazel had escaped. John hadn't been able to shove a knife through his heart.

Just like that, Mara was returned to her cracked form. She was no longer a stained glass window, the colors of her soul blown into a beautiful portrait that told a story of gratitude and acceptance, of the unsettling yet intoxicating way Dean made her feel. Now, her glass portrait had been shattered, and she knew without a doubt that Azazel and Meg would soon work their way through the cracks. And when they did, Mara would have to obey them. Even as they thrust waves of punishment upon her for her abandonment.

"Mara," Dean hissed, tearing her out of her twisted reverie. "Were you gonna tell us about being with Yellow Eyes, or were you planning on keeping that piece of information to yourself?"

Mara took a deep, slow breath, the insistent gazes of each of the Winchester children making her nervous. They'd stopped at a restaurant for food, and when John finally excused himself to use the restroom, the Winchesters had pounced on her like she was their prey. And of course they had. The news of her association with Azazel had been the equivalent of a bomb and, judging by their knotted expressions and wavering stares of anger, it had caused their trust in her to waver.

She considered telling them the truth, if only for a fleeting moment. How long could she really keep lying to them? She was already lying to John, and she was new to that sort of dishonest behavior. She was sure to slip up if she kept lying to every one of the Winchesters. Then, she looked at each of their faces. Sam, whose gentle smile had been the first to welcome her into their group of hunters. Kat, the kind-hearted girl who'd introduced the concept of friendship to Mara. And Dean...there were no words to describe what Dean was to her. What if telling them about her contract lessened their opinions of her? How could she even risk that?

She couldn't. It didn't matter that, if she told them the truth, they might have been willing to help her avoid Azazel. It didn't even matter that they would've made sure she didn't have to kill John. She wouldn't risk losing them, even if the chances that she would were slim. So instead, she opted to tell them a half-truth. To tell them about the contract, but pretend the holder of the contract was Meg instead of Azazel. They believed Meg to be dead, after they'd witnessed her fall from a building. Who would be the wiser if she told them that, after Meg's death, the contract had been terminated? The timeline for her lie was a little off, but she prayed they wouldn't notice.