Chapter 9: Realization

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DISCLAIMER: Characters of this story are not mine. Twilight is not mine.I do not own them but I love them!

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True enough, when we got back from Dinner, Esme already had the cottage completed.

Some of the furniture that we kept in the attic were transferred to the cottage. There was a small mahogany table in the middle of the living room and two couches. The floor was covered with a brown carpet that complimented the color of the forest outside.

"It's getting late. I better let you sleep" I walked her through the door. Deep down, I didn't want to go.

"I'm not sleepy. How about you? Anything interesting to do tonight?" She asked.

I smiled. I liked how she's trying to make conversation, but I really wanted her to get some rest.

"Go to sleep Bella." Reluctantly, I started to move away from the house.

"Edward."

I looked back and she was staring like she wanted to say something important but decided not to. These were the times when I wish I could hear her thoughts.

"Thank you...for tonight" I smiled and nodded, reluctantly leaving her in her new little home.

When I went inside the big house, I went straight to the grand piano. I let my hands wander in the keys until the sound weaved into a soft melody.

I heard the surprised thoughts of my family. It's been a while since I've played, and I let the music flow to a new tune that came to me when I thought about her. It was a melody so soft, so full of promise yet ends in uncertainty and sadness.

Once the music ended, I went straight to my room.

I stood in the middle of the room, looking around at my surrounding. Something was missing... I wanted to do something... no, I needed to be with her. I've never been this... anxious before. After the restaurant, I wanted to be by her side all the time. She was like a magnet to me, drawing me to her blood, to her every being.

I was pacing inside my room thinking of something else to do aside from going to her. I didn't have this problem when she was still inside the house.

It didn't help that I could hear Emmett and Jasper's thoughts about their bet if I was going to be stalking Bella tonight at the cottage.

It took me an hour before I could decide to go to the cottage. I wasn't really stalking. I just needed to check on Bella to make sure that she's okay being alone in the cottage and since I'm the only one who didn't have anything to do, I should be the one to go. Emmett was already collecting his money from the bet when I left.

I heard Bella's even breathing when I arrived outside the cottage and seeing the details inside Esme's mind, I walked directly towards the back to a mini garden.

A glass door connected her room to the garden which stood ajar. Bella didn't have to worry about anyone sneaking in and if someone in our family would decide to get inside, that someone probably being me, a locked door wouldn't really make any difference but still, it made it easier for me.

The door slid open noiselessly and I was greeted with the intensity of Bella's blood. It was a painfully welcoming feeling.

The room was large and simple. It only had a small desk, a chair, a walk-in closet that would probably be full in a matter of days courtesy of Alice and the bed where Bella lay.

Her blanket covered half of her body and I saw that she was wearing one of the new pajamas that Alice got for her. Her face was half covered with her hair and I resisted the urge to touch her.

Looking at her sleeping feature, I tried to recall our conversation earlier. She had been silent on the way home and I was too afraid to ask. Her reaction earlier gave me hope that maybe, even just a tiny bit, she can regard me as someone she can be with romantically.

I know that I was getting my hopes up but didn't she imply from her question earlier? She wanted to know if a human can be considered a vampire's mate. She could just be curious or she could be considering herself. But if she was, I should be happy but why was I afraid? Was it because I'm a Vampire? A soulless monster who desired her blood? One wrong move and she can walk away from me or I might hurt her or worse, I might accidentally kill her. I winced from the imaginary pain.

Is this how it feels?

The realization that my existence no longer mattered without her was such a revelation. It was like a wall crumbling down exposing me to the truth. The truth that I am in love with this woman and I will do everything in my power to make sure that she is happy. My thirst no longer mattered. I will be strong enough to resist her blood just to keep her safe from the monster inside me.

I walked towards the side of the bed and slowly sat beside her as not to disturb her sleep. My hands instinctively reached out towards the stray hair that covered part of her face.

"Edward" My hand froze. Was she awake? I didn't want her to feel like I was being a voyeur or something.

"Edward, please stay..." This time, her voice was full of longing. I looked intently at her face and saw that she was in a deep sleep. She was dreaming... she was dreaming of me. My cold body suddenly felt warm and I knew then that I needed to tell her how I feel. I needed to declare my love for her and the meadow seemed to be the perfect place for just that.

I brushed the stray hair from her face and stood up. I need to prepare myself. I need to show her who I am and tell her how I feel. But first, I need to hunt. I don't care if I have to hunt everyday as long as I make sure that Bella would be safe with me.

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