IsaacXReader: You Are My New Memories

6♡ Arguing Excuses

"I'm so sorry Zack.."

I held onto him tightly as he laid there asleep. My heart had a swollen feeling and it made me fall into a uneased world. I was so scared of this newly bred feeling.. I wasn't sure how to act.

I could hear Zack's heartbeat as my head laid tucked into his chest warmly. I thought about everything that happened today and how mad he was at me. I thought about us as kids and I thought about us now.. I thought about where his heart layed. And that killed me the absolute most. Because I knew.

"I'm so, so sorry Zack.."

Tears strolled down my cheeks and I began to cry. I hadn't cried in so long it felt like the swelling in my chest was starting to go down as each tear rolled. He couldn't hear me, he was asleep.. he wouldn't care. He would probably have killed me at this point. If it was by him I wouldn't complain. I would be no better than any of his other victims. Even if we did grow up together.

I felt my cheeks burn my tears now being scratches from my eyes. I tried to keep myself quiet but I busted out into a hot mess. Yea I was crying.
I was crying becase..

Because I'm broken,
Because I'm defeated,
Because I'm hurt,
Because I run from myself,
Because I had been dead inside,
Because I'm sinned,
Because my life is a disastrous cluster to this world and myself,
Because why not?

All these years I either cried by myself or not at all. When I had Epsy things wouldn't be as bad but lately crying had never been a thought or priority. Until now that was, and now I couldn't help it. I clenched onto him tighter than before trying to minimize my crying so I wouldn't wake him.

A hand landed on the back of my head. My heart sped fast again and I took a deep breath looking up at him through a load of blurr. I sniffled trying to get up but his hand forced me back into his chest. His hand brushed through my hair and I took that as a note to continue crying.

So I did just that.
I cried.
And I cried loud.

I let everything that was locked away in a caged room roam free. It felt relieving something I hadn't had in a while.

Between a couple of finishing pouts I finally managed to stop crying. I yawned, his arm now wrapped around me holding me tight into his calming aura. I wasn't whinning about it, surely I wasn't bout to start now. I was by far the most comfortable I had ever been maybe a but scared but comfortable.

"I'm sorry Zack.. "

Zack pulled the blanket over us and ignored me some more. I figured he felt sorry for me or something so I stayed burried in his chest, my eyes growing curtain heavy while a few last water drops fell onto him. Meanwhile he got his bandaged fingers stuck in my (h/c) hair lazily.

"Its okay.."

I smiled at him still keeping my head in my spot. That was all that I wanted to hear all day. My eyes closed even though I was fighting to stay awake. "I, I can move if I'm bothering you..." I suggested between a yawn an a couple of sniffles. "Your fine. Sleep." He continued to play with my hair as I curled up closer to him. "But-" He shoved my head into his chest so I didn't argue anymore. "Fine.." I yawned closing my eyes back for rest. I felt his other hand rub my back then sit there for a moment.

I peeked one of my eyes open to see him staring off into the dark abyss of the setting room. I felt his breathing movements that were rocking me asleep peacefully and easily. "Why did you protect me back there earlier?" I spoke trying to stay awake to hear the answer to my questions. "It's not wrong to protect someone you care about." He asnwered.

"Yea but its weird even for you..."

"Your my friend. The only one I have."

"Oh.. but why do you care even for a friend?" I asked.