My sunshine (Phan)

Chapter 6

I woke up with Phil's arms wrapped around my waist, we were still laying on the couch in the living room. The morning sun peered in through the transparent white curtains. There was a slight draft in the house but I didn't mind it. I turned around to see the sleeping phil his mouth slightly opened and his raven hair a mess, how could someone look so cute in the morning? "Good morning, beautiful." I whispered in his ear pecking him on the cheek. He opened his eyes slowly and sleepily smiling "Good morning." I got up and wrapped one of my softest blankets around him "Do you want anything?, a warm bath, breakfast?" I offered "Both would be nice.... But I'd like a kiss too..." He laughed "Alright." I said bringing my lips to meet his. His lips were soft, plush and moist. They were perfect. I ran my fingers through his beautiful hair, he ran his tongue across my bottom lip as if he was asking for entrance into my mouth, our tongues fought for dominance as he moaned into our rather consecutive kiss. Our lips parted and I gave him one last peck on his forehead "Hey, Dan..." He trailed off "Yes?" I asked "I think, I love you." He said staring into my eyes, he was really serious about this statement "Oh... I love you too, Phil." I brought him into a tight embrace. I was finally happy again.
---------------
"What're we making?" He asked leaned against the counter watching me get ingredients "Pancakes." I said pulling out a skillet and setting it on the table I began to lubricate the skillet, slightly giggling at the jokes Alex used to tell about lubricating the pan "What are you laughing at, babe?" Phil asked hugging me from behind "Nothing, it's nothing." I said quickly. Don't live in the past, don't live the past.. "Oh, okay." He said shrugging his shoulders.
-----------
I sat down at the table with Phil trying not to think about him "Is there something wrong, bear?, you seemed dazed?" Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Alex always called me bear. That was his thing, how the hell did phil get that name? My throat felt somewhat swollen as I was trying to hold back tears, I didn't want to fuck up things with Phil, like I fuck up everything. I hate myself damnit.... "Will you excuse me for a sec? I have to use the bathroom..." Without giving phil time to speak I rushed to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I sank down against the door wallowing in tears, "Fuck." I whispered to myself, and I thought I had together, that I had got over it, hah, fucking bullshit. Tightly hugging my knees I heard a soft knock on the door "Dan? You alright in there?" Fuck, I couldn't let phil see me like this I scooted back against the shower, praying he wouldn't come in "Yeah..." I tried to hide my teary voice "Really? Because it sounds like your crying? I'm coming in.." He turned the door knob slowly and peeked his head through the door "Babe!" He ran towards me wrapping his arms around me "Whats wrong?" His face full of concern, I had never really told him about Alex "Nothing, it's nothing..." I quickly wiped my tears "Dan, you're freaking crying!, Tell me, please..." I could tell that Phil cared, he really did, so I told him everything, leaving nothing out. It felt nice telling my whole story, sure, Peej and Chris would listen but, for some unexplainable reason, Phil was different.