🌺The Promises That We Keep🌺

Chapter 71

As soon as we get to our bedroom Xavier walks over to the bed and throws me down onto it. It wasn't hard but it was unexpected and I yelp slightly trying to sit up to face him.

His face is so angry but more than that, he's disappointed as he paces back and forth running his hand down his face.

You've disappointed him. I told you, you are worthless.

"Do I treat you well Nova? Beside everything with Hannah, am I a kind husband to you?"

He question takes me by surprise, as I fold my arms over my chest and glare at him.

"You know you do Xavier. You've always been kind to me."

He nods but still continues to pace.

"Then why is my wife sneaking out in the middle of the night, in a dressing gown to visit another man? Tell me that Nova?" He looks to me as his face falls, "Then falling asleep holding his hand! Do you have any idea how that made me feel, seeing that?"

He stops pacing and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"How did you know I was there?" I ask, but his angry stare makes me bite my lip.

He's scary when he's angry.

"Do you have feelings for him?" He spits through gritted teeth.

"Of course not!" My voice wavers, how dare he accuse me of that!

"Then why are you pushing me away? It's like your trying to make this marriage fail before we've even started!" He shouts and I fight the urge to cover my ears.

"I'm not the one to get another woman pregnant Xavier!" I yell back, wiping my tears away. "I can't help that I'm still hurting."

His jaw clenches, "You won't even try to forgive me for getting Hannah pregnant before we were even together, will you?"

Shaking his head, he walks to his desk and sits down placing his head in his hands.

Seconds pass while I watch him. All I want to do is go over and hold him, kiss him and breathe in his manly scent. Remembering what it feels like to have him moving inside of me.

My lower stomach does a tingle.

I know he just wants to feel close to me again.

"I don't know," I say as my voice breaks, I clear it and lay on my back, looking to the ceiling.

"It's more though, isn't it? You wanted me to fuck you like a whore. Like the women I've slept with that, I didn't care about. You wanted me to be rough and cause you physical pain. Why Nova?"

My face warms, at his direct matter of fact question.
I wanted him to fuck me like a whore and I enjoyed it.
The soreness between my thighs reminds me why I liked it.

I feel the mattress dip as he sits down beside my legs.

"I'm not mad that you wanted that Nova, I'm just confused why you wanted me to be that way with you. To be rough with you."

"You shouldn't put me on a pedestal Xavier, I'm not this perfect thing that will shatter if you touch me." I huff, watching a small smile play on his lips.

"I know, but your so pure, I don't want to taint you. I'm just trying to give you the love that you need Nova. I don't want to be someone that physically hurts you."

I nod, as he takes my wrist and kisses it, moon-shaped cuts are visible and I realise I must have made those at some point. He doesn't say anything while gently stroking them with his thumb. But I move my arm out from his hand.
His tender touch on something I did to myself when I was hurting feels too intense. Wrong somehow.