1.1 | constellations of you and me ✓

01 | andromeda

THERE IS AN ART TO FALLING IN LOVE. It's slow at first, but then all at once, like waves breaking on midnight sand. The pressure is too much: ears plugged, eyes shut, lips bitten. An emotional roller coaster, that is, leaving only wild memories and tousled hair but no regrets—just racing heartbeats. She likes to think of it as constellations, where stars dance across her skin and he lazily connects them with the pads of his fingertips, where hands are full of soft intentions and never-ending thoughts.

Falling in love is a plot twist. And Jonah Kim is her biggest one yet.

***

Sometimes, on the bad days, Eloise wishes she could switch her emotions off. It's too much too fast, and uneasiness settles at the bottom of her stomach, leaving an oily residue behind. Her feet start to feel heavy and the messy curls of thick lashes flutter with each passing hour. University is expensive, work is draining, and coffee is always out of reach—something that Eloise has spoiled herself with (and only cold brew) because if she's going to drain her bank account some way or another, it should at least be with something of value.

There are good days, too. Little events that have the power to make her smile, like a pretty quote or the right song to start off early in the morning. Minor things where it can make her forget all the twisted shit from her past, all the dark memories branded permanently in her brain. Although temporary, ignorance truly is bliss—a powerful anesthetic to numb the pain. These hours are rarer now, but it serves as a reminder for how vivid the world can be. And, perhaps, the people in it.

And then there are other times where it gets too hard to move, to think. She's paralyzed in her apartment, and so, so lonely. It's funny how society works: she's constantly surrounded by people, and yet completely and utterly isolated. Cruel and fitting. Eloise is drowning, lungs filling with dark, inky water, and the weight at the bottom of her heart keeps her submerged. Even in Hades, the memories cling to her like soaked clothing—she's homesick, but unsure where home really is.

Today feels like fated tragedy.

She's studying inside the university library surrounded by her notes and other students, all hunched over textbooks to prepare for exam week. There's a thin film of restlessness: knees jerk against tables, fingers shuffle between papers, and murmurs funnel into a soft cacophony of volume. Settled towards the back left corner, Eloise is fortunate enough to have a table to herself, where her colored pens are scattered strategically so no one else can sit down without awkwardly asking her to move materials. The thoughts inside her head are quiet today (too quiet), and she skims problems about integrals and derivatives with an unfocused gaze.

And God, today—today is her mother's birthday, and Eloise feels so guilty that she can't bring flowers to her grave, which is all the way across the country. She knows her father sure as hell isn't going to visit.

The seat next to her slides out with a sudden movement, and Eloise flinches. "Oh, my God, Parker," she half-whispers, slightly mortified. "You spilled your latte all over my folders." The smell of coffee makes her mouth water, but other students start to look up from their tables at the commotion.

The blonde slaps a hand to her mouth to stifle a loud giggle. "Oh, shit. Sorry, queenie," she says, reaching into her back pocket for napkins. "Here. I think this will help." Pressing the cloth against the desk, the girl shoots her best friend a sheepish smile.

Parker Salem has the looks of Cinderella and the charm of her fairy godmother. She's beautiful and kind and has a whiskey-dripping smile, romantic poetry lining her lips. They met in the beginning of freshman year as roommates and have stuck together ever since, even sharing an apartment when they both moved out of university. Quite literally, Parker is her fucking lifeline. She leaves motivational sticky notes on their bathroom mirror, tucks Eloise into bed when she's fallen asleep atop her textbooks, and always makes sure to stock up on their favorite snacks (like dark chocolate bars and breakfast pastries).