The Force of the Dyad

~Chapter 1~ When Grief Awakens

It had been three days since the rebel victory over Palpatine's massive and formidable army. The First Order was obliterated, and the galaxy was finally on the road to peace and justice for all. The whole rebel encampment was blanketed with a conflicting feeling of both jubilant exhilaration and grieving sorrow. The rebels had won! But the cost had been great... no one survived without experiencing extensive loss. General Leia Organa was no more, and the two newly appointed, victorious Generals, Poe and Finn, walked around camp in silence with their friend Chewy, trying to instill a sense of comfort and stability to those around them.

Finn was lost deep in thought... thinking of Rey. What has she gone through? He remembered her appearance on that day of victory, she had looked as if she'd paved her way through hell and back. As she had stumbled, disheveled, dirty and bloody off the ship, with tears streaming down her face, all she had done was hold onto them, her dear friends, crying out, "he's gone, he's gone!"

It had taken them a long time to figure out who exactly "he" was. Yes, Palpatine was gone (again). Without knowing details, Finn understood it was all due to Rey. But Palpatine wasn't who she was talking about. "It's Ben, Ben Solo, he's gone Finn, he's gone!" Rey sobbed into his shoulder. Finn knew who Ben was... but why was she calling Kylo Ren, Ben? What had happened after their fight on Kef Bir?

He remembered his shock at the time. After his strenuous efforts to join Rey to help her fight their enemy ended in her force-pushing him back and away from her... then seeing that Kylo wasn't trying to harm Rey at all, and was simply blocking her attack defensively, almost sensuously.... the way he had looked at Rey...! Well, it had shocked Finn to his core. He didn't understand it. Ren hadn't been behaving at all like the malicious, evil dictator he KNEW him to be. Finn lost sight of him, and then Rey, soon after, as the crashing waves came between him and his first friend, and he was forced to retreat. This was the first time he had been in Rey's presence since that day.

So much was unexplained, but he knew Rey too well to do anything but support her, and be her friend. He sensed it, a feeling... she wasn't ready to talk. He knew it wasn't the time for inquiries, or explanations; when she was ready, she would tell him all. He flashed Poe a private look, warning him not to ask any more questions, and Poe took the hint, stopping mid sentence, knowing the bond that those two shared.

Soon after, Rose had joined them, and slowly helped Rey into her temporary quarters, stealing curious and sympathetic looks at the great Jedi heroine, as she stood there, face frozen in a mute look of tortured grief. Freshly appointed Lieutenant Rose darted around the room, swiftly, quietly, laying out some clean robes, whispering an order to a member of the staff to bring some hot tea and biscuits, and arranged the soaps and towels in the small bathing area for Rey. When all was set up to her liking, she gently bid Rey good evening, and entreated her to get some rest and refreshment. Finally Rey was alone. She bolted the door shut, and slowly walked to the center of the little room.

She stood there for a long time... knowing that if she were to move or do anything at all, horrific grief would consume her. Then, with the growing twilight outside her small window, it all forcefully came rushing back to her... the tenderness and love she had always felt for Ben, suppressed for all this time... her passion buried deep inside her being, with only the strength of her principles preventing her from throwing everything and everyone away and running to Kylo, saying she WILL take his hand and be his forever. Knowing that it wouldn't have been the way to redeem him, she had denied the greatest desire of her soul, to save his, staying away...

But oh! Her heart leapt and butterflies swirled around inside her as she remembered Ben coming for her on Exegol! BEN! He had been her own Ben... not Kylo... and the kiss! Their first, beautiful kiss. He had stared at her after reviving her, so much love for her pouring out of his expressive eyes; yet hesitant, not sure of her feelings, not wanting to overstep her boundaries; and then she had kissed HIM, and he eagerly kissed her back. Irresistible. They had come close to kissing before, many, many times... She reveled in the sweet memory. The way he had smiled after, one hand in her hair, the other upon her waist, and his grin of heartfelt delight and satisfaction! The intoxicating scent of his clean sweat wafting around her...

"But oh!" she screamed internally. The thought of what had happened next, sickening her. Ben, her Ben, he was gone.. after he had completely faded away in her shocked arms, and his hand had faded away from hers as she held it, she'd looked around with a glimmer of hope, searching for a glimpse of his force form, and utter hopelessness had descended over her as he did not appear.

"Be with me!" she cried aloud with heart wrenching plea. She was met by cruel, dead silence. Ben must be truly gone; there was no trace of him to be felt through the force. Her heart felt as if it dropped out of her chest then, and she fell, half swooning, into a pit of agony and despair; she cried until she finally, mercifully blacked out, and fell into a dreamless sleep, upon the hairy, brown Bantha skin rug on the floor of the warm, quiet room.

... to be continued.