Chapter 19: Now

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Liz

Home always meant coming back to reality. The trip to New York felt like a dream from the moment I walked into my apartment. I dropped my luggage in the foyer and heard someone running towards me from somewhere in my house. "Liz!" my house manager shouted.

I relaxed as I realized who it was, especially when Cathy rounded the corner and I could see her. Gavin's fear must be getting to me. "Hey! What's wrong?"

"I'm so glad you're back. You were awesome! I can't wait to hear this album," she said, slightly breathless.

I'd forgotten she was actually a fan of my music. "Thanks," I said, laughing nervously. "So, did anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

She straightened up. "Not really. The house is in one piece, no one tried to steal anything, and it all ran smoothly with fewer people than normal, so I'd say it was pretty boring."

I nodded. "Sorry to hear that. Um, I'm going to head to my room now. I think I'm going to sleep for a little while."

"Oh. Okay. I'll call you when it's time for dinner."

"Okay." I picked up my bags and walked to my room. Walking into my apartment meant walking back into reality. A reality I'd forgotten until I was almost home and got a text from my mother. It only said she was proud of me and wanted me to call her when I can, even though she knows I'm busy.

My mother, who I hadn't talked to in a long time. Possibly months. I hadn't been able to bring myself to do it.

I pulled out my phone as I sat on my bed. The last time we'd talked things felt strained and she knew I was keeping something from her. She could tell I wasn't happy. It felt like that night in my kitchen when she asked me to quit all over again. Though, to be honest, I knew she was right. The first time, she was right. I wasn't happy at all. Not for the reasons she thought, but still. There's not much I could hide from my mother, and that's why I stopped talking to her, but it's also what makes it difficult to start talking to her again.

I pulled up her contact and stared at it. Calling would be so easy. Just swiping and holding the phone to my ear. It would be up to her after that. So easy.

Still, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt the tears beginning to gather and I closed my contacts. Nope. I still couldn't do it.

I opened my photos and the first one I saw was Gavin. He was smiling at the camera, and it was his real smile, not the one he gives to the cameras. A few pictures back and I snapped a candid. He was just sitting there looking at me with a besotted expression. I remembered that. I wasn't looking at him - I could feel his eyes on me and I snapped the picture, wanting to see his expression without him knowing I was trying to see it. I couldn't help but like the results.

Did I want to hide this from my mom? Because not talking to her is like hiding him, and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

Maybe I just needed some support? I wasn't sure. The only thing I was sure about was that I needed to call her. It couldn't wait any longer. I was tempted to see if Gavin could come over, but I had just seen him and I didn't want to seem like I couldn't stay away from him for an hour.

In my hand my phone began playing Gavin's ringtone. How did he know? "Hello?"

"Hey, babe. Just wanted to make sure you got home okay."

I smiled. "I did."

"Good." Sounds of shuffling came through the line. "I just wanted to check on you. Hope you get some sleep - you looked tired on the way back."

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