Tevun-Krus #74 - A Very Superhuman Christmas

@Nablai's Nebula

Welcome to the latest in Nablai's Nebula, a series of sub-genre-related articles exclusive to each issue of Tevun-Krus. Enjoy!

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'Tis the Christmas season and as y'all have guessed correctly, this month's theme is - A very Superhuman Christmas. A couple of weeks back, I had asked Mike on the Tevun-Krus thread regarding the theme and the fact I didn't know how to figure it out. Jinnis suggested, "Think Christmas with a bunch of superheroes, Nab... " And Mike was "Should be all sorts of superhero and superpower."

Well, these taglines got me putting on my Think Cap on the many ways I could merge Christmas with Superheroes. It was fun writing this article and sharing my thoughts with all of you.

Ever wonder how would Santa Claus or technically St. Nicholas, incorporate the superpowers our superheroes like Superman, Hulk, Batman and Flash have? Sifting through hundreds of scrolls and timelines, not to mention Kryptonian archives hidden under Gotham, I've reached this conclusion:

Santa uses his powers to help those in need and make society a better place. Surely, he doesn't fight crime, wear tights or sport capes, but his powers are unrivalled. His only weakness is cookies and milk, but it doesn't weaken him like kryptonite. As he's working on a tight schedule, he just sprints from place to place like Flash and Superman. Don't let his physique fool you, by the way. Santa Claus is faster than both the Flash and Superman, who are prevented from exceeding the speed of light by the laws of physics. He defies this limit by warping space and time, which means he can shrink the distance between two points All of this happens in the upper atmosphere to avoid disruptive side effects on Earth.

Santa takes advantage of the fact that "as you approach the speed of light, time slows down" which makes it easier for him to deliver his gifts before sunrise.

With the power of Omniscience like Professor Charles Xavier (aka Prof. X from the X-Men), Santa uses his psychic abilities to the maximum. For all you know, he sees you when you're sleeping and the fact if you've been bad or good. Unlike Professor X who needs a special helmet to expand his telepathic range, Santa uses his band of specially trained elves to sneak out the information. His paranormal activities help him access the most remote of records across the world. His surveillance technology is at par with the best of all worlds.

Santa's gift of communicating with animals is at par with Wonder-Woman and Aquaman who are taught all the animal languages as a part of their warrior training. With Santa and his reindeer are flying through the air and visiting almost every house in the world, he needs a lot more than a harness to point them where they need to go. The knowledge of telepathy vastly helps him in directing Rudolph to their chosen destination.

His Shape-shifting abilities are the talk of the day... Though squeezing through chimneys isn't easy, he manages to do it with considerable elan like Ant-Man, by just shrinking himself. Like Dr. Strange, Santa Claus manipulates time and mystical energy by creating universal portals and alternate universes. At the same time, he walks through walls to enter homes that don't have a fireplace. All the while, he loves eating the milk and cookies laid out for him at every home. Even shares some with Rudolph! 

Santa's' superhuman strength is massive. I mean-- he might not have a body like Hulk, but that doesn't mean he's weak. Immense muscle power is required to lift his massive bag of toys. And we forgot leaping up the chimneys takes superhuman skill and agility like SpiderMan without the power of webs-slinging. Thanks to his excellent engineering knowledge like Iron-Man, the sleigh is his special creation. Since he built it with the latest technology, he can fix any internal problems it might face. And the best part-- he does everything calmly and with confidence like Iron-Man who works excellently under pressure.

Unlike Batman who wears a belt equipped with technological gadgets and Iron Man's weaponized suit, Santa's fanciest accessory is a bottomless sack of toys--a kind of interdimensional portal. The inside of the sack could be bigger than the outside and allow storage of countless toys. It looks two-dimensional but who knows, it may be an opening to a third, fourth dimension or even more. We have no idea but it can be mathematically possible.

Santa Claus has been around for hundreds of years. Some might think the title of Santa Claus is passed down from generation to generation, but in reality, it's just been the same guy delivering presents for all these years. With his iconic jolly laugh and trademark bearded look, Santa has fine-tuned his Christmas. He will continue to remain one of our most important cultural figures in the years to come.

Wish all of you a Merry Christmas and a wonderfully blessed New Year. Until we meet again for the next issue, this is Nab signing off...

Love you and take care =]