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~Shit is going down somewhere~
Night: Why are you two here?
Kelpie: I'm here to help!
Teeboo: I'm here to make things worse.
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(Forgive me Night, but I must do this)
Reporter: Are you a boy or a girl?
Night: I'm non-binary.
Reporter: But what were you born as?
Night: A problem.
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Night: You need them to think you're stronger that you actually are.
Foxy: That's what you do?
Night: Oh, no. My power is no illusion. I can demolish you.
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*The Atopia squad in a dark-ass place*
Alphonse: It's so dark here.
Kelpie: Wait, I got this.
Kelpie: *stamps on the ground*
Kelpie's shoes: *lights up*
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Ramen Noodles: Oh? You're approaching me? Instead of running away, you're coming right to me?
Foxy: I can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer.
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Kelpie: Okay, Night. You're driving down the road and suddenly, you see Alphonse and Ramen Noodles in front of you. What do you hit?
Night: Ramen Noodles, I would never hurt my Alphonse-chan.
Kelpie: Night. The brakes. You hit the damn brakes.
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Night: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, might as well fail spectacularly."
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Kelpie: They'll pluck out our eyelids.
Foxy: Wait, could you still fall asleep?
Kelpie: How are those your first words??
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Foxy: Last time you said "everything is in order", I ended up fighting a bear.
Night: How much longer are you going to reference that? I cannot be held accountable for acts of God.
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Kelpie: I want you to smile!
Teeboo: I am in pain.
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Alphonse: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!
Teeboo: Please, just say fuck.
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(Night, Foxy, and Kelpie are tied up)
Foxy: This was a terrible idea! Why didn't anyone stop me!?
Kelpie: Because you didn't tell us! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US!?!?!
Foxy: Because you would've stopped me!
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Kelpie: Did you eat all of my Milk Duds?
Foxy: *silently chews for 7 minutes, then swallows* First of all, I don't appreciate the accusation...
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Kelpie: How do I overcome my laziness?
Night: Effort.
Kelpie: So the system is rigged then.
Night: Big time.
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Alphonse: Hewwo! I will be youw suwgeon today! Intewnal bweeding you say? Wet's make ouw fiwst widdle incision.
Kelpie: Doctow, we're wosing them!
Alphonse: Quick, hand me the defibwiwatow!
Teeboo: Please turn off my fucking life support.
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That's all for the first chapter. I'll probably post a chapter of incorrect quotes every Saturday, maybe in the week if I feel determined enough to post. Bye!
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect Quotes: My Friends Edition :D
HumorMy friend @Nightoffear has her own incorrect quotes book, so I decided to be a madlad and one-up them.