Dying on the Inside and Suffocating on the Outside

Chapter 2: Bittersweet

I opened my eyes and looked at the time. It was 11:24 a.m. I was in a lot of pain. My throat, chest, stomach, and nose hurt. Not to mention, my head was hurting very badly as well. I was thinking to myself, what is going on and why do I feel like pure shit?

Dr. Grant and my pops were in the room. There were a couple of nurses in the room too. I looked at Dr. Grant, rolled my eyes, and said to myself, from now on I am going to call her Dr. Grinch.

My pops smiled, "Rise and shine, Sunshine." He squeezed my hand, "How are you feeling?" I looked at my pops, but when I tried to speak, my throat was hurting really badly. My pops softly said, "Take your time."

I looked around and one of the nurses walked over. "Hello, Skylar, I am Nurse Caroline."

I tried to speak, but my words didn't fully come out of my mouth. Dr. Grinch walked over with a cup of water in her hand. I rolled my eyes and hit her hand and the cup fell on the floor. Nurse Caroline stepped back and said, "Skylar, I am going to check your vitals."

I didn't say anything. I looked at my pops and he started to tear up. I rolled my eyes at him too. I noticed I was in a different room. The walls were light blue. When the sun beamed in it complemented the rainbow picture that was hanging on the wall. It made the wall look as though there were no clouds in the sky. The wall made it seem like it was a sunny, clear-blue-sky day.

My pops called my name. I kept my eyes on the blue wall in front of me. I was filled with rage!

I looked over to my left and noticed I had a bathroom. I looked over to my right and noticed the window was huge, and there was a beautiful view of the baby-blue sky. Just like my sky-blue wall, there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

Dr. Grinch asked, "Skylar, did knocking the cup out of my hand make you feel better?"

I didn't respond. I kept my eyes on the blue wall. I tried to talk, but the words wouldn't come out. I looked down and saw a plastic tube. I panicked. I jumped up as I said to myself what is this! My pops jumped up, "Sunshine, it is okay." I felt like I was going to have a heart attack because my chest was hurting.

Nurse Caroline handed me a cup of water. I was aiming to either grab the cup and throw it or tip it out of her hand as well. She snatched the cup back quickly. "Oh no, ma'am. With all due respect, my dear, I will not tolerate your outrage. If I hand over this water and you slap it out of my hand—me and you are going to have some issues to nip in the bud." As she stood in front of me, she asked, "My dear, do you want some water? If so, I will help you, if need be." She looked at the floor, rolled her eyes, and looked back at me. "If this water somehow or some way finds its way onto the floor, you will not get any more water from me."

I looked at her and asked in a firm, groggy, dry-throated nasty tone, "Who do you think you are?"

She told me, "I don't have to think about who I am. As a matter of fact, I know exactly who I am and why I am here. I am Nurse Caroline. I want to help you, but if you are going to be disrespectful, I will kindly excuse myself."

I rolled my eyes at her and looked the other way.

She continued, "My dear, I am fine with you looking the other way, but one thing I do know, you are going to respect me."

I looked at her from the corner of my eye.

She asked again, "My dear, do you want some water?"

I nodded my head yes.

"My dear, I need to hear you say yes or no," she replied.

I looked at her as I tried to say yes. She told me to take my time. She held out the cup as I gently took it from her hand and said, "Thank you."