Blessed With A Curse

Chapter 4

Mona knocked on my door just after the sun had set. I opened the velvet curtain and smiled at her. She held a huge gown like the one I wore the first day. It was a dark red color.

"That's beautiful!" I ran my hand over the silky fabric. This was dress was ten times more beautiful than the ones at the mall. Why did everything seem so much better here?

"My Lord would like for you to wear it to dinner tonight," Mona sat the dress on the bed and handed me a wooden box. It was about a foot wide and was obviously old. Mona began doing random things in my room, so I got up quietly slipped into the dress.

It zipped on the side so I easily dressed. Mona was still busy so I peeked inside the box. White gloves were on the top. I put them on. They were a perfect fit.

Still inside the box was a smaller velvet covered box. I opened it and gasped at the beautiful contents.

"Mona leave us," I jumped and closed the box at Nathaniel's voice. I hadn't heard the door open. I twirled and my cheeks reddened. I felt like a kid that just got caught sticking her hand into a cookie jar.

He walked to me after Mona left. My heart was beating rapidly from his closeness as he reached around me to retrieve the velvet box. He held up the chain the box contained. The beautiful pendant was a ruby marquise. It was something I never dreamed I would even see and now it was going around my neck.

"Turn around," I obeyed and turned my back to him. The pendant fell softly against my chest and I resisted the urge to twirl the delicate pendant in my fingers. I didn't know how long it usually took for a male to lock a necklace, but Nathaniel's fingers seemed to linger at the base of my neck.

He also put the matching bracelet on my wrist. I smiled hoping he didn't want me to wear the equally beautiful earrings. I was allergic to most of the jewelry they sold in stores, so I chose not to suffer through another ear infection and I let my holes close up.

"We will have dinner in an hour. I have some business to discuss with George, so I will meet you there."

"Okay," I smiled and waited for him to leave and close the door before I retrieved the journal and relaxed on the over stuffed sofa. I opened the journal and began reading.

**Dear Diary,

I have been having vivid nightmares. The kind of nightmares that afterwards cause you to wake up with sweat on your forehead and your heart is beating fast. I fear living a lie like this will destroy me, but I know if I tell Nathaniel he will kill my love. So to protect my love if Nathaniel reacts violently I will not tell you his name.

The servants are so loyal to their 'lord' that I fear even you will be found and my secrets told. I should tell him about my unfaithfulness, but I can't find the words. His grin fills me with happiness and if I was the one to take that away, I know I would surely die a little inside.

For all the years I have known him, he has never cried in my presence, and to see him weeping would break my heart in two. You must think me a harlot, but I assure you I am not. What other way is there to share your love when you are stuck in an arranged engagement? I wear a fake smile every time Nathaniel visits.

I hope the nightmares stop, but I don't think I'm strong enough to tell Nathaniel what I have done. I want to love him, but fate is a cruel thing and I find myself lusting to be in another mans arms.

Keep my secrets,

Saoirse

I couldn't help but feel some of Saoirse's pain. Fate was cruel. I closed the journal and wondered if Nathaniel was an ancestor of my Nathaniel. I didn't want to ask him. If he took the journal from me I would bs bored out of my mind. Less than ten minutes had passed, but I could hear voices in the hallway. So instead of reading more I hid the book under the cushion and stood up.

I opened the door to see Mona and another older woman talking heatedly. The older woman was motioning frantically with her hands and Mona stood there with an expression I had perfected while dealing with my father.

"Hello Mona," I waved at her. She cheered up a little when she noticed me.

"Hello Spencer!" She pulled the lady over to me, "This is my mother Claire."

"Lovely to meet you Claire," I smiled at the stubborn looking woman. She gave me a tight smile.

"You as well Ms. Van Buren."

"Mona I would like you to escort me to the dinning room," I didn't know what I was saving her from, but she was extremely relieved.

"Yes ma'am."

We walked to the dinning room in silence. Mona let me into the huge room, which was now set up for a formal dinner. I could only shake my head at the gorgeous chandelier that lit up the marble flooring. It made the whole room shine.

I was alone after Mona left and I indulged in a little make believe fairytale. I twirled under the chandelier, my flats allowing my feet to slide easily. I imagined I was a real princess and I was waiting for my prince to ask me to dance. If only this feeling could last forever.