connecticut

the comment

guys i met them yesterday and i didn't even get to talk to them because i was being rushed but tell me why i caught feelings just looking at them.

also this picture is atrocious but there's no pictures of him not smiling lmao.

as mark disappears to another room of your house, max and luca get up.

max looks down at you as he stands up, "y/n. why."

your heart drops.

"maximo. i didn't ever want him to be hurt," you answer as you start to cry harder.

"you should've said something when you had that chance," max answers before walking out of the room behind luca.

you didn't wanna lose mark that soon. so you never said a word. you tried to block all of that tension from that one night out. but it still always lingered in your mind.

"fuck," you mutter under your breath.

"what the hell why didn't you tell me. why is this such a big deal," annie says.

"holden was a guy i got with the in the morning of the day me and cass met up with the boys. no one knows what happened with mark and holden but it's something mark is really sensitive about. max told me he was in a really bad place when all of it was going down," you respond.

"y/n. i love you but you really should've said something," cassie adds on with a sympathetic look.

"why didn't you just tell him when it happened," annie questions.

"he makes me feel safe and happy. like genuinely happy which is big for me. and i really wasn't ready to lose that. it would've sent my mental health down even worse than it ever was. and now i don't know what's gonna happen now but i'm really scared," you respond, then look down at your phone.

you decide to confront holden, i mean he did just fuck up your relationship after all. you go onto snapchat and open into the chat with him.

holden, why did you comment that on mark's post. he's pissed and i swear if you really just messed up the best thing that happened to me.

you send it to him and look back up to annie and cassie. who start to respond to what you said.

"it can't be that bad, it would've been better for him to know even then," annie answers.

"first of all, you have no idea what has happened with me. and when i say my mental health was bad it was bad annie. i really don't need to go into detail about it but it wasn't easy to handle at all. and i know it was but i was so scared. it wasn't smart but i had no idea what to do," you defend yourself.

"yeah sure. you're always dramatic. anyway, yeah it wasn't smart and you should go talk to him," annie answers.

cassie interrupts, "give him some time. we know him and we know he's gonna need time. once max and luca come back you should go talk to him about it."

you start tearing up again, "guys. i fucked up. i need him in my life."

your phone buzzes. a snapchat from holden.

honestly that's just dramatic y/n. if he's stupid enough he'll believe you when you say you didn't. i just did it for fun. but then again this happened last time around and that's why he hates me. and now he thinks it's true from what you're telling me. haha good luck.

asshole.

you're kidding right? so you just do this for fun? just to fuck with someone i care about. someone who actually was important in my life unlike you holden. get your shit together and find something else to do other than ruining other people's lives.

you snap him back and turn your phone off.

you look up and then cassie starts to talk, "i really can't promise anything y/n, but this time you need to tell him the truth. the full truth. tell him the full story and don't leave things out. you need to own up to what you did because if he forgives you this time but finds out you lied tonight, it's over for good and we all know that."

"also say something to maximo. i know it might not seem important but you said you talked to him  about it that night. he's probably upset too to some level," annie adds on.

"it's just so uncomfortable to talk about. but yeah i get it especially because it's already out i need to say something. fuck i wish i never got with god damn holden," you answer to them.

the boys conversation in the kitchen comes to a stop and footsteps near the couch where you, cass, and annie are sitting. maximo and luca walk up and sit down.

"hey i think you need to go talk to him," luca says in this weird mad but forcibly polite voice.

"yeah i'll go now," you start, "maximo can we talk after i need to apologize to you too."

"yeah sure," maximo says quickly before looking down.

you start to walk out before you remember to ask the boys something, "hey luca and max, is he ok? like is he mad? is he gonna forgive me?" you're questioning it all now.

"y/n. i really don't know. you have to talk to him. but yeah of course he's gonna be mad," max answers.

"ok," your voice breaks as you tear up for the hundredth time.

you walk into the kitchen to see mark leaning over the counter with his head resting in his hands.

"mark." you say, and he looks up, face red and blotchy and covered in tears.