The White Butterfly

Eleven

Jungkook groans, sitting up and gripping his wounded shoulder.

"...Joohee?" He groans, looking around. "Joohee, where are you?"

No answer. Jungkook gets up, stumbling into the moonlight outside the dark cabin.

"Joohee!"

Even before he sees her lying on the ground, a hunter's knee on her shoulder, he knows what's going on.

"Joohee!"

Joohee stirs, her long black hair glimmering in the moonlight. She makes a sound, akin to a groan, reaching out and motioning for him to go.

Jungkook can't move.

"So you were still here?"

Jungkook looks up. a gun is pointed in his direction. "Perfect."

His vision goes red.

"Jungkook. Wake up."

Jungkook gasps. His eyes fly open, and he jerks, letting out a soft whimper when he finds Taehyung's arms wrapped around him, holding him tight.

"... Taehyung...?"

"Finally." Taehyung says, pulling Jungkook into his lap. "Does it hurt anywhere?"

Jungkook stares up at him, completely preoccupied with how casually Taehyung is doing this. Taehyung's eyes shimmer with concern, his mouth moving, but Jungkook is too distracted with the idea of what's happening for the words to register.

"Huh?"

"Your head, your legs, your stomach. does anything hurt?"

Jungkook swallows, then shakes his head. "...No."

"Are you sure?" Taehyung asks.

"Yes," Jungkook says. His face begins to heat up, and he moves back, pressing against Taehyung's arms. This makes no sense. No one has held him like this since... since Joohee.

Joohee.

He couldn't save her.

"Hey. Don't go pulling away like that." Taehyung pats the back of Jungkook's head with one hand, "Listen, I need to head out and run some errands, and everyone's gonna be busy. Think you'll be alright resting here?"

Jungkook lets out a shuddery sigh, leaning against Taehyung and taking a deep breath.

"Jungkook?"

Jungkook turns his head slightly, and Taehyung lets go of him. "Go on, lie down." He says, "resting only. You hungry?"

"no."

"Well, I'll go get some food." Taehyung ruffles Jungkook's hair with a smile. "Be back in a few minutes."

Jungkook nods, watching him leave with a twinge of regret. He had almost managed to forget Joohee, but now the image of her lying in the dirt, half-conscious, is back with a vengeance. He takes a deep breath and stands up, walking to the far wall and curling up in the corner. He considers taking a blanket, but leaves the one he holds on the corner of the bed, self-loathing overcoming his desire for basic comfort.

How could he fail her like that?

Jungkook lies down against the wall, curling into a ball and staring at the door. When Taehyung comes back, he will force him to get back into bed, familiar with his behavior after nightmares, but for now Jungkook only has the cold floor and the frustration of remembering.

He lost someone like Taehyung before. Who is there to say he won't lose them again?

Jungkook presses a hand to the floor and swallows, closing his eyes. He needs his mind to empty, before his powers kick in. He can already feel them looming, the press of the floor against his skin threatening.

"Ah, look at you. I told you not to go anywhere." Taehyung chuckles, kicking the door closed. Jungkook lifts his head, and their eyes meet by accident, time skipping a beat as Taehyung's face falls and he sets the food down on the bed, walking to Jungkook.

"What's wrong?"

Jungkook lifts himself up on his arms, taking a deep breath, searching for an excuse, but before he can Taehyung kneels and sweeps him into his arms, cradling him against his chest.

Jungkook's breathing stutters, stammers, and leaves him in one long rush. "Nightmare," he says, his voice small and quiet in the large room as Taehyung pulls him to his feet.

"Do you want to tell me what it was?"

"No," Jungkook says, voice breaking. "Please. I just don't want to remember."

Taehyung holds him against his body, one hand wrapped around his waist and the other pressed against the back of his head. "Memories don't listen to us," he says quietly. "I'm sorry."

Jungkook shakes in his hands. He longs for the feeling of focused anger, for something besides the fear tearing him to shreds.

"I don't want to have these powers," he cries, heedless of the way Taehyung's hands stiffen, holding him tighter as if fighting to keep him together. "I don't want to be this way. I don't. Please."

"I can't change you," Taehyung says softly. His voice wavers, and Jungkook feels the tears surge past his eyelids. He buries his face in Taehyung's shirt with a lost, broken wail, clinging to him, his body vibrating with the force of his self-hatred.

He wants to give up. He wants to be gone, to be nonexistent, to be different.

But still, some part of him clings to the thread of life, clings to Taehyung. Clings to the possibility that this pain might end, so he can be free.

Taehyung's arms encircle him, shielding him while he cries. Jungkook feels free and wild in his arms, not once wondering at the irony of only feeling uninhibited as another human wraps around him, tethering him to reality, pressing him against another body. His wails dwindle to sobs, then gasps, then shaking breaths, and through it all Taehyung holds him, head tucked into the crook of Jungkook's neck, not saying a word.

"I can't do this," Jungkook says, his voice a high, shaking, panicky whine. "I can't. I can't be anything for anyone--"

"Then don't," Taehyung says. His voice rumbles like the thunder that used to keep Jungkook awake at night, holding the same deep power he doesn't understand. "Don't be anything. Just stay."

Jungkook releases a breath, gasping, twisting the back of Taehyung's shirt in both hands. Their bodies flex against each other as he twists, pressing his forehead into Taehyung's neck.

"Please," Taehyung says. "Stay."

Shaking, blinded by tears, air rasping in and out of his lungs with no concern for the maelstrom his thoughts have become, Jungkook licks his lips, rubbing his face on Taehyung's shoulder.

"Yes," he says. "Yes. I will. I will."

"Thank you," Taehyung whispers in his ear.

Jungkook holds him tighter in response.

It's all he can do.