It's Always Been You

19

Ethan's POV

"Where do you want these?" I ask my mother for the millionth time today.

We've been packing for the past three days and I'm over it. I have no clue as to how many picture frames I've wrapped in bubble wrap and put in boxes. They all began to blend in together after the twentieth one.

"Put it in with the kitchen stuff," my mother yells from the living room. She's been working on that living room for the past day and it's still not done. That's what she gets for settling too quickly.

I release a deep breath, putting the pot in with the others. If I have to seal another box I'm going to go crazy. Luckily, we're about done with every room except the kitchen and the living room. Once that's done we're out of here. Two more days is all that we have left and it pains me to think that I'm leaving everything behind, Alex behind.

These last few weeks have been miserable without him. He's made it clear though that he doesn't want to see me. No calls, no text messages, nothing since I last saw him in that hospital. The only message I got was from his mom when she texted me saying he was out of the hospital.

"Ethan, can you check upstairs again for me? Make sure we didn't miss anything," my dad appears from the laundry room.

I roll my eyes, "Do I have to? I've been up there three times already in the last two days."

He gives me a look, telling me he doesn't care about how many times I've been up there. I groan, not wanting to climb those steps again.

There's a knock at the door and I give a silent thank you to god for giving me something else to tend to.

"Wonder who that could be?" My mother pokes her head out from the living room.

I shrug my shoulders. "I already said goodbye to everyone." At least everyone except for Alex.

I open the door, curious as to who's visiting us. The door swings open to reveal an all too familiar face. His eyes are frantic as he looks up and down the road as if he was being chased. I can't help but stare at him, speechless. This is the first time I've seen him. He's different, his hair is grown out enough to be pushed back and he's wearing a big, black boot on his bad leg.

His eyes find mine and everything stops. Oh how I have missed looking into those eyes everyday. Those cheeks that I used to plant kisses on at random times.

"Ethan," his mouth opens and closes but no sound comes out.

I'm pretty sure I look stupid standing in the doorway staring at this boy. It's like every time I see him I fall in love all over again.

His hands come up in my face, waving frantically in front of my eyes. I shake my head making the world speed up again.

"Ethan," he says again.

I clear my throat, leaning against the door to make myself look less stupid.

"Yeah."

"Do you have a minute to talk?" He looks like he's about to pass out from asking me.

"Sure." I close the door behind me, moving over next to him on the sidewalk.

He looks at me and then down at his hands. My mind is going a million miles a minute, wondering what he could possibly be wanting to talk about.

"When?" Is all he says.

My eyebrows go up in confusion. "What?"

"When are you leaving?" He looks me straight in the eyes.

Oh. How did he find out? I gulp, not exactly feeling like discussing this.

"Three more days," I tell him.

I can see him take in a sharp breath and he looks away quickly. All I can find is watch him as he clenches his teeth. Silence falls between us and I reposition my feet to fill the silence.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He says still looking away.

I look down at my hands, trying to come up with a good enough reason. "Because I felt like you didn't care anymore. I'm sorry, I should have told you."

He looks at me and I can see tears start to form in the corner of his eyes.

"I care, all I do is care." He looks down at my hands, showing clearly that he wanted to take them but he was fighting the urge.

"Alex, look, I think we should just be friends. You're right when you said all we do is argue and I don't want to cause you that kind of pain anymore," I take his hands before I can talk myself out of it. He looks down at them and back up at me, but doesn't pull away. "All I want is for you to be happy and I can tell that I'm preventing you from that."

He stares at me, biting his lip. "I'm happy when I'm with you."

His words knock the breath out of me and I end up taking a step back. He looks at me for a couple of seconds and then he does something surprising. His hands leave mine, finding the sides of my face. I have no time to think before his lips find mine. It feels amazing to kiss him again, to feel his body press against mine. I turn my head, allowing him to kiss me deeper. My lips part a little and his tongue brushes against my top lip. A groan escapes my throat, making what's happening seem to click inside my head.

I pull away from him, the heat rising to my cheeks. What just happened? He stares at me, waiting for me to say something.

"Alex," is all I can say.

"I'm sorry," he looks down at his feet.

"I can't do this, I can't hurt you again." I tell him, ignoring the urge to kiss him.

"You can do this, Ethan, I want you and only you."

"No you don't," I tell him. "I'm not good for you."

"What do you know about what's good for me?" His words come out harsher than I think he meant them to.

"I don't, but I know that I can't hurt you again. You mean too much to me."

He stares at me and I can tell that I just broke his heart all over again.

"I'm sorry," I tell him before going back into the house.

He's standing on the sidewalk, looking at me with tears falling down his cheeks. It breaks my heart to see him cry but I'm doing what's best. I can't hurt you again.

I love you.