golden // it oneshots

one: butterflies

butterflies; stenbrough
word count; 1418
~

there was something slowly creeping up inside of the young stanley uris's body. not a thing, more of a feeling; an emotion.

a feeling he's never felt before, a feeling he never thought he would at all for that matter.

love.

he's had crushes like most teens over the years, but never has it been so intense. the emotion has never come off as so strong, so prominent, and so demanding.

what confused stanley was that these feeling were geared towards a boy. a boy. he never thought he was gay, or bi, or pan, or anything of the sort. he liked girls, all his life. this was the only boy he was ever been attracted to in his life.

and of all people, it was his best friend.

bill denbrough.

stanley loves everything about bill, from his personality to his looks, all of it was perfect in the teen's eyes.

when the name was mentioned, he couldn't help but get butterflies in his stomach and turn pink thinking of the memories they shared together. they've known each other for as long as they can remember, making it so much harder for stan to think of denbrough as anything more than a best friend.

he couldn't get it out of his head though. the thoughts of bill holding him close, touching him, kissing him, loving him. that was all he wanted. but bill was straight, and his best friend, remember. stan knew they wouldn't be anything more than that.

yes, it made him sad, even sadder thinking of bill with a girlfriend. if it did happen eventually, bill having a girlfriend, stan would be playing a game of pretend the rest of his life. faking happiness, with a broken heart underneath.

at least bill would be happy, right?

~

stanley was sitting in a field, alone.

he did this most saturday afternoons, settling in a field watching birds and drawing the flowers. he enjoyed this time to himself, stan wasn't an extrovert, so some alone time was a thing he treasured.

this time around he didn't have his bird book or notepad, he had himself and that was all. there was no reason he went out today, bored, maybe.

the thing was, he had been so on edge recently.
filled with stress, he came to the sunflower field to simply relax and calm his nerves. why was he so stressed? no, it wasn't because of school or homework like normal teens. he was struggling with his self-identity. his sexuality.

still, at sixteen years of age, stan didn't know who he was. it was all because of his childhood crush that never dissolved as the years passed ever so slowly. he couldn't say what he was, and he didn't want to single it down, either. he was just a boy who liked a boy; just one boy.

a boy that made his heart flutter, made him feel like he was on top of the world. a boy that has auburn hair, forest green eyes, and a beautiful smile. he looked like an angel took human form, the most adorable boy on the planet.

if he couldn't have him, he could at least dream of it.

"s-s-stan?" the stutter was all too familiar to stanley's ears, being shaken from his thoughts with attention now drawn towards his crush.