Right thing

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Keefe's POV

"I did the right thing" I clamoured in my mind. Maybe just maybe if I replated it enough times I would believe it. It wasn't my first time injuring someone, but it was the first time I did it to someone who was innocent. No, he wasn't innocent he was hurting Sophie. Nobody hurts Sophie. But Keefe, he was helping her, nobody else was able to snap her out of her 'zombie states' remember? You would be waiting for her to come back for hours. A small voice in my brain reasoned.

I turned the voice out. I couldn't be in the wrong. Being in the wrong let to guilt, and feeling guilty led to minds shattering. I couldn't put more on Sophie's plate after all that's happening now.

  'Keefe, what did you do? You weren't supposed to be here!' Sophie's voice rang out. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. Frick. I barely started my sentence before she flung herself at me. I was in shock. My head hit the floor and my face was wet with tears. I couldn't tell if it was mine or Sophie's. She was crying while she shook my shoulders, demanding answers. I turned her out. I couldn't be in the wrong. In my mind, I chanted 'i did the right thing' like a prayer.  I needed to believe it. I had to.

  Fitz dragged Sophie off. I felt thankful for once.

  Bianca told me the boy had survived. I felt mildly better.

  Dex told me that they were going to be knocked out until Sophie was ready to meet them again. I hoped she would never be ready.

  Fitz told me one of them escaped. I hoped it was the one I hurt.

  Sophie called my mother without me. I can't say I blame her.

  Days passed and I locked my guilt deep inside me, in a vault that was getting far too crammed. Perhaps it was as insidious chains of guilt wrapped around my subconscious, plaguing my mind. Not that anyone noticed.

One day, Sophie decoded that she was ready to face them again. I decided to accompany her, as I always have for the past few years. I wonder if she noticed, I wonder if she would stand by my side when I needed help. Fitz came along too. She would definitely stand by his side.

She talked to that boy again, in hushed tones. She told me it was to apologise, but they talked for so long, longer than she had to any of us in the past few months. By the end, he hugged her and she hugged back. I could tell Fitz was jealous, but I was distraught. How could someone that she had just known be more open with her than with us? What had we done wrong? Where have I gone wrong?

  I tried to chase after her after the meeting. She chased me back to bed. At least that meant that she still cared.

  Ro was not a good bedrest companion. She had a job and she would get it done no matter what. Of course, staring at a grumpy boy in bed would get boring for her, so she left me in bed while she went and explored the house. That left me, unfortunately to my own thoughts most of the time. I decided to do some drawing. Most people said I was good at drawing, and that was thanks to a younger me that would doodle his surroundings while waiting for my parents. With neglectful parents and enough practice, I learnt how to draw. This was also why I stopped. It dreged up too many painful memories. Maybe that was why I accompanied Sophie everywhere. I couldn't stand the pain of being left behind.

  The hailings became less frequent. Usually I'd get multiple hailings a day. People were getting busier, I knew that was a rational explanation but I felt like I was being abandoned, and letting down my friends. Sophie told me bed rest was the right thing to do to help my body recover, so why did I feel like I was letting them down? I told myself I was doing the right thing again and again. I didn't believe it.

Ok end of this chapter haha I'm sorry I left y'all on a cliffhanger, but I prioritise my art before my fanfics. One of which is up there at the top of my chapter. Haha ok I'll update soon if I have time (•ө•)

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