Come by Night 2: Winter's Moon

Chapter Eleven - Unraveling The Mystery

Isamu's palace is humongous. The corridors and rooms seem endless, alway turning into the next. I could spend days lost in here. Maybe I already have. The gardens, the rooms, the furniture... it's all so beautiful! I have never seen anything like it. No human has, except for me.

A painted screen commands my attention as I walk past. There are many such, but this one is different. This one depicts a scene of battle. Yōkai on horseback riding down men with swords bravely defending a village. One of the riders at the head of the demon horde is clearly Isamu. There are two others with him leading the charge. One of them is a tengu, and I suspect that's who made my fox go to Hell with him.

It is a terrifying scene, but gorgeously illustrated. I wonder if someone made it, or perhaps Isamu's magic called it into existence. I suppose he must live, because it is still day here. It hasn't stopped being day since he left. Without him to change it, time stands still. I have no notion of an hour, or any concept of time at all. How long has it been? Hours? Days? I try to pretend it does not matter, but in the background I feel disconnected and anxious. I have no routine. I am adrift.

To make matters worse, my blood should be upon me. It's not. I do not know if it is this weird place, my anxiety over Isamu's departure, or if I'm pregnant again. I do not even want to think about that right now, not on top of everything else. 'But what if you are?' that little voice whispers, nibbling on my nerves ceaselessly like a little rat in the back of my mind. 'What will you do if Isamu dies...'

I take a shaky breath, then another, and succeed at not crying. 'I will do the same thing I did with with Tsukiko. I have been through this before. I can do it again,' I tell myself.

I stare hard at the little representation of Isamu. Whoever did this captured his demeanor perfectly. Sword raised high, hair flowing back as he charges into the enemy, proud smirk... I can tell he enjoyed it.

But why? What drove him to it? I know his heart. He is gentle and sweet with me. What he did to my town he must have done to hundreds of villages over the centuries. I have only to close my eyes to see him walking toward the bridge in a halo of blue fire. He was beautiful and evil. He's a scourge upon mankind. He is the man I love with all my heart.

I turn away from the screen, unable to bear the sight of it. That Isamu is not my Isamu. But it exists within him, a sleeping demon that does not require much to awaken. Of course, in that he is no different from any other man.

How did my poor fox get this way? I think he's ashamed of whatever happened that made him cruel. He was not born a monster, or he would not be so kind to Tsukiko and me. I think he's hurting deep inside. I can almost reach him, but then he closes up on me and I am on the outside again, staring at the beautiful façade he thinks I'd rather see. Maybe he's right.

I wish I could find out. No one here knows anything before he discovered and brought them here. He never talks about it. He merely goes away at random intervals and comes back, usually with a new yōkai. He stays for a while, then off he goes again.

"If you really want to know, you should go to the koi in the black lake. If anyone knows, he does."

That's what they all say, "You must ask the koi. Only he was here before Isamu. He was here before anyone. Perhaps he can help you."

I haven't gone yet. I keep meaning to, but cannot motivate myself. Am I afraid to know the truth, after all? I hug myself, rubbing my arms. I can't deny that I am frightened of this yōkai. I've seen the huge koi swimming in that lake. He could swallow me. What would happen to Tsukiko without me?

I need to do this, otherwise all I will do is think about everything that is wrong or can go wrong. The constant fear will drive me mad. There is nothing for me to do here. No need to cook, or sew, or perform any chore. Everything is done for me. To exist in this frozen, eternal moment, I have begun writing down the yōkai's stories. This is my daughter's legacy. Should the worst happen, Tsukiko must know who her father was.

'Is,' I mind myself sharply. 'You will not give up on him. He never gave up on you.'

Isamu came for me when my brother took me away. He returns to me again and again. He lets nothing and no one stop him. Not a town, not a priest. If anyone can do what he is about to try, it is him. There isn't much he cannot achieve when he sets himself to a goal. I like that about my fox.

When I am with him, I feel this connection. I cannot explain it. It's like I am meant to be with him. We will always find one another. My heart whispers that this is our fate. He is my 'forever.'

When I gazed at the woods at my brother's house, and felt him gaze back, there was comfort in it before I ever knew him. I never felt fear, but exhilaration, and I went out every evening anticipating him until he finally presented himself to me, my wild spirit of the woods. I wanted someone to take me away, and against all the odds stacked against us, he did. I trust him to come back to me.

I take a deep breath. I love him. I love our child. If there is another inside me, I will be glad and love that, too. I will surmount any obstacle and prove Isamu's wife has fangs of her own, human or not. And I will start now.

I gather my courage and walk out to the bridge above the black lake.