chapter 13 ~ Not worth it

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[Third person]

Kai had gone the rest of day pretending nothing had happened. He didn't check in on Hari at all and kept trying to convince himself it hadn't actually happened. He didn't exactly hate it just.... He didn't know. Something felt wrong. Well a lot of things were wrong with it. Like the fact that he was going against his bosses very strict no patient doctor relationship rule. Was he really willing to risk his job for a guy he didn't even know if he liked or not? No. He wasn't. He could probably just sort it out with Hari tomorrow.

Let's hope he's not too upset..

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Kai was home by 8 o'clock and decided to not bother eating. He was tired as all balls and really just fancied an early night. He had eaten earlier so he wouldn't make himself ill. Kai quickly got changed into some form of nightwear and hopped into his bed, making sure his cat was fed beforehand. Honestly, he hadn't really slept well for a while so as soon as his head hit the pillow, he drifted off.

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Hari didn't sleep at all, he just sat huddled in the corner of his room. It was cold and his feet had gone numb but that wasn't what was on his mind. It was what Kai had said to him. Did he really mean it? Hari didn't want to be used again, he hoped this was different. But he hadn't known Kai for that long, how was he suppose to trust him? He shouldn't be so quick to fall for people, he knows what happens when you fall for the wrong person. He didn't need to find out again.

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Kai woke up in the morning and groaned. 6:30. He sat up in bed and thought back to his dream. It was... strange. He couldn't remember a lot but he could remember Hari was in it. He continued to try and remember what happened in his dream and placed a hand on his face. Why did he dream about "that"? Especially with him. He let out a shaky breath and looked down at his lap. Shit. Seems like his body enjoyed that dream a little too much.

♡~°Bout to get rather spicy so if you're not into that shiz, skip this part°~♡

He got out of bed, ignoring it for now and switched on the hot water. He could deal with it in the shower. Kai got undressed, grabbed a towel and hopped into the shower, just like usual. The hot water felt nice on his skin as it trickled down his face, soaking his body. He found showers quite nice. They were warm (unless you're a psychopath), calming, a time to think about things and they cleaned you.

Now he needed to deal with that. He began doing what he would usually do, thinking of pretty fake women as he slowly stroked his dick. He closed his eyes and imagined a random women, short blond hair, pale skin, blue eyes, y'know the sort, bent over, naked. He let out a shaky breath as he sped up his stroking and bit his lip. He imagined thrusting inside of the women as she moaned for more. He sped up even more, his toes curling as he placed a hand on the cold wall and moaned quietly.

He was close to finishing when he noticed the women no longer looked the same. His imagination was taking control. Her hair was now long and white and her body structure had changed slightly. One dramatic change was that she was no longer a women. Kai opened his eyes and moaned as he came, letting his body sink to the floor. The water was still spraying on his face but he didn't care, his mind kept wondering back to his "vision". Hari? Why had his mind done that? Was it because he was thinking about him too much? Why was he thinking about him?

♡~°I think it is safe now- the spiceo bit is over so if you skipped, continue reading from here.°~♡

The thing he hated was that he liked seeing Hari that way. But that didn't mean he liked him, did it? He looked like a women so it was fine right? It wasn't gay. ♡~°Idk man seems kinda gay to me°~♡ And he didn't like Hari in that way, it was his feminine appearance sexually confusing Kai. But the thought of Hari being a guy wasn't a turn off for Kai. He still liked him. And he liked the thought of him naked... not gay though.

Kai placed his head in his hands and sighed, turning the water off. Whatever, he needed to get ready for work. He should just forget about this whole situation, pretend it never happened. He needed to talk to Hari today, about the whole... y'know, situation. He had bigger issues to worry about than some stupid thing he saw during masturbation. But why would his cheeks still warm up when he thought of that? Why would he still think of that? Kai screwed his eyes shut but then quickly opened them again when he began seeing things. Not important.

He quickly got some clothes on and dried his hair, getting some toast before running out the house. He had been so distracted by the incident that he had lost track of time and was now leaving late. He spot the bus at the end of his road just stopping, and began sprinting. Luckily the bus driver spotted him and waited. Kai thanked the bus driver, payed for a ticket and sat down. Putting his headphones in, he began to listen to music and think about work. The bus journey was one of the few times Kai could really sit around and think without panicking about something.

Kai smacked himself in the head as soon as his mind started wondering back there and swore under his breath. Why had that messed him up so much? Usually he would forget about masturbation like an hour afterwards and it would never cross his mind again. So why? Why did he keep thinking about this? Because it was Hari. Maybe... He should give this a go. This entire time he's been in denial, it's like his brain knew and was trying to convince him. If he tried it, then he would know what he wanted. Yeah. Maybe this whole situation wasn't that much of a disaster.

♡~°Kai is finally accepting that he's possibly a lil' bit gay. And uhhh yeah, you filthy sinners who really wanted smut! This should sustain you for now since Kai and Hari are most definately not gonna do anything like "that" for a while. I'm also probably going to focus more on Hari's POV on the entire situation next chapter, I've pretty much only been talking about Kai.

I know I say this almost every single chapter but I genuinely think I'm going to be posting more. I mean, everyone is stuck inside due to coronavirus, so why not give you guys a little bit of gay? And my school has litterally said they don't care if I don't do my work, I'll just fall behind slightly, so of course I will still work, it's just not a huge issue for moi. That means, more time to post!°~♡

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