No Man's Land 2

Chapter 2

A thud and step.

A thud and another step.

A crutch.

A thud, another step and a crutch.

Along the corridor of the hospital, Izuku was walking towards the room of the therapist.

It was hard to walk with a prosthetic leg and Izuku hold on tight to the nurse that was walking on his left side. During the past week, he learned each corridors by heart: he can count the exact number of steps needed to get to the other side.

"We are almost there," the nurse said. Izuku forgot his name and never really cared enough to ask him again. He was there doing his job, he would have never cared for someone like him if he was not paid to.

"We have... we have, yes... we have twenty steps" he muttered between his thin lips. The nurse smiled down to him and nodded.

Izuku counted down each step he would take because he was so exhausted to walk and he did not want to go where he was going.

"Midoriya, I think you are amazing! You memorized the amount of steps needed, that's cool," the nurse said as if trying to soothe the tension that kept Izuku's shoulder up and tight.

"It is not, not. It is not. It is a coping mechanism, yes. Coping. I control. I control and I am safe, yes?" he said as his eyes darted from the nurse to the floor and up to him again.

The nurse seemed at loss of words.

"I imagine it could be it, but you are doing great!" he replied.

"Great, no. I am not doing great. Not doing. Shoto, he is doing great! Yes. He is." Izuku said as he turned his head to the right. His eyes brimmed with a newfound emotion and the nurse found himself thinking why someone has to go through such pain.

"You do realize that Shoto..."

"Midoriya, welcome back again." The therapist interrupted the nurse just in time and as he opened the door, he let Izuku inside his room.

"Theo?" Izuku said the therapist name.

"I am coming, Midoriya. Give me a minute," he said to him while smiling.

Theo turned his gaze to the nurse and talked to him with energy, as if reprimanding him.

"Never, never ever try to convince someone that their delusions are not real. You almost ruined my week of work!" he shouted looking down at the nurse.

"Now, Jude... please, if he ever says his name, he is real. Okay?"

"Yes, I did not know" Jude, the nurse answered as he walked away.

Theo closed the door and sat behind the desk. Izuku was already on his "favorite couch" as he would call it.

"So, Izuku... do you have anything to say?" Theo asked.

Izuku's eyes brimmed with joy.

"Yes. Yes. My leg hurt. And, I don't know?"

"What do you not know?" Theo said as he shifted on the chair.

"Uh... did I say that?"

Theo nodded.

"I... my leg"

"I know about your leg, but what about you?"

Izuku tapped his foot on the pavement. His leg will not stay put.

"There is nothing about me"

Theo looked at him without shifting his gaze.

"Would you please give me my medicines so that I can walk back to my room?" Izuku suddenly said.

"Okay Izuku, I could give you your medicine. However, I am not your psychiatrist. Why don't we talk about how are you feeling right now?"

Izuku got up, using the crutch for support. He walked to the pile of books on the left side of the room. He grabbed one and looked at it with too much faked interest.

"Fluoxetine, twenty mg. I would add Diazepam, five mg. Am I right?" Izuku said as he shifted his gaze back to Theo.

He looked down and sighed with exasperation.

"It is right, Izuku. And you do know it is."

"Well then..." Izuku answered as he walked back to the chair. "What are we waiting for?"

"You therapy session... you-"

"I do not need it! I already know how to cure this shit!" he shouted. He swiftly moved back to the chair; the crutch fell.

"You know that rage is never a primary emotion, I would assume you are mourning... a loss maybe"

"Trying to play with me?" Izuku barked back.

"You know Izuku... what about him?"

Him, Shoto, His Shoto. Shoto. Shoto Todoroki was dead. Shoto. SHOTO WAS DEAD. Shoto. No. maybe not. Shoto... where am I? Where...

Izuku entwined his fingers.

"Can't even tell his fucking name?" Izuku said.

"You did not say it either," Theo answered and the strange look he got on Izuku's face was what he was looking for.

"Why are coming to my sessions if you do not want to be here?" Theo asked.

"I hate..." Izuku sighed not being able to complete the sentence.

"It's okay to hate God today, to change his name to yours; to want to ruin all that ruined you. Izuku, it's okay"

Izuku admired the man in front of him, he was a very good therapist but how could he gave in? How could he admit to himself that he was somewhat broken? These and others questions filled his mind as he traced his tired face with the back of his hand. Tears tainted his white shirt. He just wanted to live in a standby mode. A bystander of life. A living dead. He just wanted to feel nothing at all.

His breath came out ragged when he tried to answer.

It was not okay.

NOTES

Hi people and welcome back to another heavy chapter of this long journey. Glad to see you here! Izuku has a lot of troubles, i enjoy writing him so much.

I introduced two major characters in this story: Theo and Jude. We will see how it will go...