Forgiving Oneself✨

Chapter 11

"Robert, I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't think I'll ever be able to offer you the kind of relationship you might want to have. I repeat, I  won't ever consider you my Dad or anything. Also, I need to speak to my parents before we meet again. If they are against it then I probably won't meet up with you anytime soon," Lyra spoke gently.

"Aren't you twenty years old? Why do you need your parents' permission for this?" I snapped.

"Why do you have to be so difficult and obtuse?!" Lyra all but screamed at me.

"You left dammit! And Mom was left alone, hurt, betrayed and completely fucked up! She cried for months after you left, for months! Even now, after 13 years of marriage, Dad has to specify where he's going and who all would be going with him. She trusts him of course, but the insecurity always creeps back. So, yes, I am going to ask my mother's permission before meeting the man who hurt her. If she isn't okay with it then I'll never see you again!" Lyra was breathing heavily after her tirade.

I felt tears in my eyes, I never realized how much I had hurt Rose. I had always known that I would need to make amends with Lyra, perhaps I should apologize to Rosalyn as well.

"Lyra, I'm so sorry. I didn't think of it that way. I should have-"

"When do you ever think?" Lyra cut me off.

"I'm sorry. Of course, you should consider your mother's feelings and -"

"And also Dad's," Lyra interrupted me again.
"It's not only Mom's feelings to take into consideration. I know you'd probably never understand but Dad has raised me since I was a little girl! He gave his own biological children celestial names because I had a celestial name. And here I am, hurting my Daddy by meeting you! So, if meeting you hurts him further then I won't ever look back and that's a promise!"

I hung my head low. I didn't know how to respond to that.

That's when I realized something. Sirius was also a celestial name! Was that really a coincidence?

"You have a celestial name but so does Sirius Flynn!" I voiced out.

"Really? Our oh so similar names is what you gather from what I said? Honestly, it's a tradition in Nana Ara's family, to give kids celestial names. Ara, Sirius, Lyra, Leo, Caelum and Carina are all celestial names, if you must know. So, what does this tell you? My name was Lyra even before I met him. That means I was always meant to be his daughter. It was always meant to be, or at least that's what Papa Rick said the day he ensured me that I'll always be his first grandchild! And before you forget, let me remind you that it was your mother who named me Lyra!"

Wow.....I had never thought of it that way! Even though she had my blood, she was always meant to be Flynn's. The realisation hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Uh ummm, right yes. Okay. I get it. Yea, I do. I'll wait for your call then," I stuttered out.

Lyra's eyes softened and she said, "Robert, I won't ever forget what you did to me and Mom but maybe it's time to move past that. I won't ever be able to love you but I might just have it in me to forgive you."

My smile split my face into two as I looked at her in awe!

She smiled gently and said, "Don't look so shocked. I am my mother's daughter and giving second chances is her speciality. If she didn't have that quality then I probably wouldn't have my great Dad or my wonderful family. So, learning from her, I'm taking a risk and giving you another chance. Don't mess it up!"

"Lyra, of course not! I will give it my best to not mess it up again! I'll even apologize to Rose, Kathy and my parents because they all deserve it so much! I will even be real nice to Flynn, his family and even your siblings! I wouldn't ever mess this.... Not again!" I exclaimed.

"Good good. Cuz if you mess it up, I'll make your life miserable. I might be my mother's daughter but I'm also my Dad's child. And believe me, we Flynns hate it when things don't go our way."

Oh man, I'd have to get used to her calling herself a Flynn! But maybe that's worth it if I just get to see my daughter again!

Looking outside the window she smiled, I could see Flynn standing beside an expensive looking car (some things just don't change and Flynn owning a  pricey vehicle sure proved that, I thought to myself). Guess our meeting was over.

"Dad's here to pick me up. I should be going. Remember, I forgive you as long as you don't make anymore mistakes. Goodbye Robert Wilson."

Saying that Lyra stood up, dropped some money for her coffee and left before I could say anything else.

I looked outside the cafe window and saw her run towards Flynn and hug him tight. They both said something in each other's ears and Flynn kissed her on the forehead. Man, he really was her Dad!

"Goodbye Lyra, Lyra Flynn," I whispered to myself.

I didn't know whether I'll ever get to meet her again but what I did know was that my daughter was loved and happy. Me leaving didn't cause my daughter to completely die inside. Perhaps I had Sirius Flynn to thank for that, no matter how the thought disturbs me.

16 years ago I had made a terrible mistake. But now after so many years, I finally got the chance to say sorry. And with the thought of Lyra saying she forgives me.....I was finally able to forgive myself.

I was finally able to forgive myself......

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There's one more chapter left of Forgiving Oneself! It's an epilogue of sorts set 8 years later. That'll be the end of my debut story😅 Hope people liked it thus far❤️