Away From It All

yves

You caught me at the wrong time. No that's not it. Anytime is the wrong time. If someone has no reason to speak to me, I'd very much prefer they stay away from me. Far away from me. So they don't have to witness the part of me that I hate the most. Where I'm so weak, I could be toppled over like a spinning top with just one touch.

This is why I live my life online. At least I could be more than who I am right now. I'm your typical quiet person in the back of the class minding their own business, but a dominating and avid gamer online. A whole different world where I reserve the number one rank on solo games. People fear me from my reputation and just by that, I'm able to snag my clean victories.

But as of now, I'm in my most vulnerable state, in my most hated class, with the most irritating teacher that's ever known to exist.

"Alright, can I have everyone's attention?" Mrs. Miller says, placing her pencil down on her pedestal before staring directly at me. Her eyes make me shiver, they were strangely darker than your average dark brown eyes. It's as though she wants me to have a mental breakdown.

"Ok, as you all may know report cards are coming out soon."

Everyone collectively groans from another reminder of report cards coming out. It's not like we've been hearing the same thing from all our other teachers. But hearing it from the teacher I hated the most, just has another kind of tone that makes me want to grab a grenade and blow her head off.

"I know some of you may think this is all fun and games, but English is an essential class. If you do not pass my class, you cannot graduate under any circumstances. Most of the people in this class I'd say are doing a fairly good job handing in their homework but the rest of you are in grave danger. I just hope those people who are failing are fully aware of where they stand in this class because if there's no improvement starting now, well, you aren't leaving this place," she shrugs. "I will be posting the marks at the door before the bell rings."

And that's the part of her that really gnaws at my skin. She is a teacher for goodness sake, help your own students if they're failing. There are some people in my class -bless their souls- that go up to Mrs. Miller for guidance. To think that would be the reasonable thing to do if you have no idea what you're doing but no, not with this teacher. She will brush you off with no hesitation.

I'm failing because of her anyway. With no help from her and me not asking for any help because I simply can't, it's basically a recipe for disaster.

At the rooftop, I'm anxious for 2 reasons. I saw my English mark and it's not good. It's really bad. It's not even just really bad, I'm the lowest in the class. It's expected anyway, I'm sure she knows I don't like her either. I make it pretty obvious from the number of times I hand in my quizzes with a bunch of scribbles on the back.

But the second reason is the one that's gonna push me off a cliff. I made the decision of confessing to my crush who just so happens to be my childhood best friend. Being the most anti-social person this world's ever seen, how do I even get through this without running away?

"Mom packed me too much food again, want some?" Henry hands me his lunch box.

"I'm not hungry," I push the box away.

"You're never hungry," he frowns. "Did you see your mark for English? Is that why you're not hungry?"

I look down at my lap. "No, not exactly."

He shoves a spoonful of rice in his mouth. "Then what?"

"I-" my voice trails off. I have to do it now or else I won't be able to do it anymore. I built up all the courage and even planned today to tell him.