Crashing down

Don't take your eyes away

"He's stopped breathing!"

Ant felt like he had been hit by a train and could be convinced that he had also stopped breathing at that moment. Everything became a blur, the voices around him, the spinning room, and then the ceiling swirling above him. The next thing that realised was the familiar feeling of lying on a bed.

"Hey, nice for you to join us again."

"What..?" Ant slowly tried to sit up but was gently pushed back down by Anne-Marie.

"Take it steady, you fainted."

"Oh shi... Ali... Dec... Oh my go... is he... Anne... please.." It was all coming back to Ant. The phone call from Ali, the excitement and the race to get to the hospital before it had all come crashing down.

"He's ok, he is breathing again, he's doing well. The Doctors are happy with his condition. Ant, look at me, darling. He's going to be ok."

****

After a Nurse had given Ant the all clear, Anne-Marie and Ant slowly made their way back to Dec's room. Ant hadn't said anything about Dec since Anne-Marie had told him the good news and this worried Anne-Marie. Although she had a suspicion that he was just in shock still and the headache that he had mumbled about to the Nurse also may be playing a part.

The truth. Ant was really scared.

He didn't want to get excited again. Ant was desperate for Dec to recover but he was so scared that he wouldn't. He was trying to stay realistic to stop it hurting so much, defending himself for what felt like the inevitable because when it came, it was going to finish his whole world.

Soon Ant and Anne-Marie arrived at Dec's room in ICU and quietly made their way in. Ali was curled up in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, looking almost asleep but very alert at the same time. With some gentle persuasion, Anne-Marie helped Ali up and took her for a well-needed coffee and a break from what had been an emotional and stressful evening.

Ant was still awkwardly stood in Dec's room as the girls were leaving. He stood staring at Dec, taking in every detail about the person he knew so well, but who felt like they were a million miles away rather than being in the same room as him. As she walked past Ant, Anne-Marie whispered in his ear.

"Sit down, talk to him." So Ant did, taking the chair previous occupied by Ali. Continuing to examine Dec with his eyes, committing every part of him to his memory as silent tears streamed down his face. In the back of Ants mind a little spark of hope still burned, it became brighter as he noticed the absent ventilator which he knew must be a good sign. But the doubt and fear for his best friend still consumed him.

"Oh Declan, please wake. I need you. I really need you, I'm nothing without you and not just as a presenter but as a person. You are the other half of me and I can't lose you, man. I love you so much man, more than a best friend, more like a brother. You're my world, you're my everything and I'm so scared that I'm going to lose you. You have done so much for me, helped me and stood by me when I didn't deserve it, protected me and I will be forever grateful. I promise I'll do the same for you, no matter what. So please Dec, wake up, open those eyes and show me you're still there and that you are fighting cos I'm so scared... " Ant cried harder and harder, the tears streaming down his face, dropping on the bedsheets and turning the white slightly darker colour. He took Dec's hand and brought it to his lips and placed a salty kiss to the back of his hand, still not diverting his eyes away from Dec.

Ant continued to cry until there were no more tears left to cry and exhaustion took over. He laid Dec's hand back down onto the bedsheets, but he never let go. Slowly he laid he head down on the edge of the bed and let sleep consume him.

However, if Ant had just been able to stay awake a little longer, he would have seen the flicker of Dec's eyes as he woke and the fond smile that crept over his face when he saw Ant by his bedside.

"Ye daft numpty, I'll never leave ya"

****

The End

***