Compassion | Reylo

17

A/N Surprise! Super special bonus double update from... Finn perspective! Stormpilot slow burn really do be like that. Anyways, hope you enjoy, vote comment and share to validate me, and stay tuned for the next chapter which will jump right back to our emo space prince and his kick-ass wife. 

xoxo, Abigail 

Finn

As soon as my feet hit the sand I remember how much I hate the desert planet of Jakku. I hate it even more with the heavy silence that surrounds Poe and I.

I've hurt him somehow, and I only wish he knew how wrong his accusations are. The battered flight jacket I rescued from the wreckage all that time ago is back on the older man in front of me. It's brutally hot, but Poe stalks on even though he must be sweating under the thick leather.

The jacket stopped smelling like Poe a while ago, but I was around Poe so much, it wasn't really a big deal.

Now I'm jacketless, Poe-less, and the only thing I can smell is sweat.

I stare at the arch of Poe's neck in front of me, and sigh.

I wish Rey was here.

And certainly not for whatever reasons Poe is imagining.

As soon as we arrived on Exogul and I saw Rey standing there, fiercely holding Ben's hand, just daring anyone to take away what she loves, I knew my brave, tortured friend had finally completed her family. And force help me, I was jealous.

We've all spent our whole lives fighting for even the smallest chance of a life. Rey deserves her happy ending more than anybody I know. Ben looks at her like she hung all nine of Endor's moons. Ben Solo who was Kylo Ren, a villain. A tortured, conflicted man, but a villain all the same. The war ended and he got a wedding, a beautiful bride, and a future.

The nerf herder got everything I've been waiting for.

So I found a mildly attractive girl on Naboo and got drunk, and slept with her. I thought it would make me feel better, I thought it would make me forget about how peaceful Rey looked sheltered in Ben's arms.

I thought it would make me forget about Poe's hands grabbing fistfuls of his own jacket on my back, and how I had to clutch on to him for several minutes just listening to him breathe, making sure he really was alive.

I thought it would make me forget about Zori Bliss, and the crowds of women around Poe after the wedding as he winked and flirted with ease.

So I slept with a girl, and now Poe thinks he's nothing more but a headstrong flyboy to me.

I know this war has always been about one person to you.

Poe's right about one thing.

Back at the Battle of Crate when I was ready to sacrifice myself for the Resistance, in the moments before I thought I was going to die I wasn't thinking about Rey, or Rose, or Leia.

I was thinking about the lusty eyed pilot with a lopsided smile sleeping with his head in his arms by my side every day in the medbay while I was in a coma.

All I've ever known is war.

And when the war finally ended, everything I had been fighting for was still walking a few steps ahead in the sand.