Compassion | Reylo

20

A/N It's been a while again. Oops. Track season started and I have a lot of work I need to put in. So sadly I think this story is going to be winding down. But not quite yet my loves so here's just a short little Poe/Finn chapter to feed you little morsels of them being idiots. Love you guys. 

xoxo, Abigail 

"You're a bastard."

"Am I?"

"Yes."

"Anything else?"

"An asshole."

"Uh uh."

"Disgustingly full of yourself."

"Please, do go on."

"The most difficult man I have ever met."

"Stop, I'm blushing." I glare daggers at Finn. He's flushed and angry, all up in my space spitting words at me like poison. Over the 5 years we've spent in this transport ship, rescuing and recruiting those who want to come live in the new republic of Coruscant, and some who want to train in the force, the ship hasn't gotten any bigger.

And 5 years is a ridiculous amount of time to spend in close quarters with the man I bicker with so much I'm pretty sure we're starting to rival the antics of Rey and Ben. (Their honeymoon phase lasted for about a month until they were arguing and teasing each other with a new vengeance. And don't even get me started about when Rey was pregnant with the twins. She and Ben both swear that it was the best time of their lives, but I saw Rey threaten to make Ben into a nice kebab if he ever got her pregnant again.)

That day on Jakku, after the end of the war, when Finn and I first started our journey into the far reaches of the galaxy, was the first day in a long line of fights.

I sulked for two weeks after our first little spat until we met back up with Rey and Ben on Coruscant. She smacked me across the face and told me to apologize. Ben said I should try a little flirting.

I apologized to Finn. We hugged. For a pretty long time, but I didn't think it was a big deal. I was actively trying to get over him, so I wouldn't lose my 2nd best friend. (BB-8 will always beat him)

Everything went pretty smoothly for about 4 years. Yes we would argue, ignore each other, I would be pissy, he would insult me, but we were doing great things for the resistance.

Then I got drunk. We both got drunk.

We were on Coruscant to visit the twins. Finn and I were alone on some balcony. (There are a surplus of balconies on Coruscant) Finn doesn't hold alcohol well so he was only a couple drinks in, but I was truly wasted.

"Finn I really hate you." I slur.

"Whyyyy?"

"Because you're just so, stupid, hot, but you're my best friend and you don't care about that."

"I think you're really pretty."

"No you don't."

"I do. I'll prove it." And then he kisses me, all drunk and sloppy. We wake up tangled and sweaty in some random bed.

Rose sat me down and told me I was having a "friends with benefits" relationship, when I finally told her what was happening after me biting my lip aggressively got Finn to shove me into our ships tiny bed, and ended with us hastily dressing and assuring each other it was just helping each other out. Nothing serious.

And that's exactly my problem.

It's not serious.

The sex is great, and it's more than I had been getting in the years previous but it makes me feel like I'm the only choice. Wandering space alone, it's just a necessity. Not real love, not the way I feel it so deep in the pits of my stomach when Finn leaves the bed first.

I never get to hold him afterwards, and call him mine.

"You're violently attractive." Finn growls, jolting me back to reality.

"You can't say things like that." I hover closer, thinking about how it tastes to have my mouth on his. When I get this close to him, and just listen to him breathing so close to me, so alive, but so acutely not in love with me, I want to just blurt it out.

"Why can't I?"

"Because when you say things like that I find it very hard to not be in love with you, and I'm trying not to do that. I've been trying not to do that. So stop saying things."

"Make me- wait what?"
Oh kriff.