Compassion | Reylo

23

A/N Uh hi. It's been a while. (It's been like 4 months oh my god I'm so sorry is I was writing a novel an excuse?) I just feel very disconnected from this fic now. I started it last year with no plan besides wanting to fix my poor broken heart because Ben Solo deserved better. I still love reylo with my whole heart, but I've changed and so has my writing. Also I really didn't plan this out well at all. So like I never had an ending. With that being said it would be cruel to just leave this without an ending so I'm going to do my very best to give you guys the ending you deserve. Thank you as always for supporting me and this work. Even though I've lost motivation for this story, the lovely comments and support I have received changed my life, and have given me hope that I can pursue what I want to do in the future. (Be a published author) Hope the new year is treating you well. 

Poe 

"You." I poke Finn in the chest. "Are an asshole." 

I'd practically sprinted away from the training room, back to the room where Rose and Hux are discussing something that I think has to do with chair decorations. Rose had just pointed me back out the door saying Finn had left a while ago and to go look for him because she doesn't have time for our idiocy. I found Finn outside on a balcony. 

What is it with this place and balconies? 

"Why do I feel like we've been here before?" Finn mumbles. 

I rake a hand through my hair. Finn is staring at his worn boots. 

"Because. You're an asshole. Completely daft." 

"Are we going to talk about the thing you said or are you going to insult me all day?" 

"I'm getting there!" 

I'm getting all riled up and Finn won't meet my eyes and it's really making me mad. I had sort of envisioned this going slightly differently. 

"Can you maybe look at me?" 

"Thought you were trying not to be in love with me." 

"And I thought you had learned your goddamned lesson that you are worthy of love. Did our friends teach you nothing? We've got two of the previously most evil men in the galaxy married off to the sweetest and most badass women I know. And you are far from evil." 

Finn looks up. 

"What are you saying Poe?" 

"I am saying. That I love you dimwit. And that you love me, and that you're scared all the time that you aren't enough. And you're used to running away when things get tough, and you're not used to using words to explain your feelings and you're emotionally congested." 

"This still feels like insults." 

"Look. Obviously you're attracted to me, I mean who isn't?"

Finn's glare is withering. 

"But also I love you. So there's that. Like, Rey and Ben type love but way less crazy saber sword shit ya know?" 

Finn still says nothing. I've put myself out on the line here, laid myself out in front of him in the only way I know how. (Headstrong, a little wild, raw and un sugar-coated) 

"Could you maybe... say something. I sort of envisioned you would uh reciprocate my love and we could make our or something. I prod. 

"I hurt you." He says finally. 

I think of the hellish sands of Jakku. 

Flyboy. 

"Yeah. You hurt me. But I'm not so fragile as to get so hung up on it for too long. You were... hurting. Although I am more than just a hot piece of ass and it would mean a lot to me if you could say so." 

"You're not just a hot piece of ass. Poe..." He trails off. 

"Can I kiss you?" I ask hopefully. 

He shakes his head. It's like I've been shot. Or stabbed. Or both. And then set on fire. I back away. Finn reaches for me quickly. 

"No that's not what I meant. God I'm terrible at this. I don't know how to do this. I was a trained soldier Poe." 

"Yeah and you were so good at that." 

"All I've ever known is how to fight." 

"What is holding you back right now Finn? I'm here and I'm telling you I love you. Is this not... did I get something wrong here?"  

I wonder briefly if Rey and Ben were wrong about what they felt. If they were making the whole thing up just to get us to have this conversation and it's going terribly terribly wrong. If they were they'll regret it when I give the twins some really great prank material. 

"Poe, this war was just about one person for me." 

Oh I'm going to smack Ben. Should've known better than to trust the force that trick ass magical rock lifting power-

"It was about you. My first friend. You rescued me from the first order you know." 

Hope. A glorious thing, a thing we thrive on here in the resistance, republic, whatever you want to call us. 

"Oh I know." 

"I didn't think that you, I mean, everyone always chooses someone else and I don't know we were doing this whole friends with benefits thing but I guess we could try, I mean you and I really need to work on not always running from everything." 

Finn blushes. He's cute.  

"Please shut up and NOW can I kiss you?" I ask again, hopefully. 

"Okay, yes please." He says and I pull him into my arms, finally, finally. 

This is good. 

Rey and Ben might be onto something with this whole being deeply in love thing. 

A/N Wow trying to pull a plotline out of that was like pulling teeth. Sorry I tried. 

Anywayyyy I think there's only gonna be like one more chapter and then an epilogue and then this will have ended. When will that be? Who knows. Not me. Be sure to check out my other works, I just started a BTS AU so if ur a kpop fan go support that I swear my writing has gotten better and I actually have a plotline for that. Thanks for supporting me as always. 

xoxo, 

Abigail