Love Better Left Unspoken [SKEPHALO]

--8--

Zak

Zak hasn't been stumbling down this road for long, his own tears blinding him as he aimlessly staggers along the pathway. Every so often, he'll swipe the buildup away and get a clear view of his surroundings, but it will never last long enough to gather his bearings.

His head ached unbearably, probably from the pressure of holding in his sobs for this long. But he couldn't just let himself cry, what if someone found him-

"Zak! Zak, hold on!"

Zak pauses his steps, startled hard enough to jump by the sudden loud disturbance in the peaceful night silence. He turns, blinking roughly to get a clear view of who had spoke. There was Darryl, sprinting after him, turning his head away from a rather rough breeze. 

Feeling his stomach drop, Zak had to push himself not to drop right along with it. "Darryl, please- just please. I don't want to be lectured by you for ruining your perfect family image. I'm sorry. Please just let me go."

As Zak turns to leave, preparing himself to pick up speed, he feels Darryl grab his wrist. Zak turns his head sharply, alarmed, and begins to pull back when his eyes meet Darryl's. The taller man was smiling gently, comfortingly releasing his grip on the boy's wrist to entwine their fingers. "Zak, just listen to me," Darryl said softly.

Zak relaxed in the quiet, crickets chirping and the sound of wind chimes in the distance, as the soft breeze rustled their hair. He nodded, giving Darryl the okay to start talking. "Let's just sit here. We don't need to go anywhere or do anything. Let's just sit here and...look at the stars." 

The other man sounded so absolutely desperate for Zak's acceptance that Zak just couldn't bring himself to say no. That he even really wanted to- but he'd deny that to himself for as long as he could. He hummed in acknowledgement, nodding, and sat down, keeping his hand in Darryl's. 

Darryl was smiling, pleased with himself, and took a seat beside Zak. They looked up at the sky together, Zak exhaling the previous heavy weight of remembering the disgusted and confused stares of everyone in that godforsaken ballroom. In a single sigh, Zak released his worries, and focused on nothing more than this. 

The sky wasn't black, perhaps more of a deep blue, with white stars speckled like paint splatters. The moon was full, casting a pale light down onto their faces. and bouncing off of nearby stones to light up the night. There were a few clouds dotting the sky, moving fast in the fierce wind, but they were a pale gray, see through and only adding more to the scenery. It was warm out, only a bit chilly when the wind blew by, ruffling their clothing and messing up their combed hair. Zak smiled, feeling no formality in this intimate exchange. 

Just the two of them, quiet and at peace with each other.

"Zak?" Darryl prompts suddenly, and Zak hums. Darryl shifts uncomfortably, looking over Zak and taking a deep breath. "Um, what did you imagine the person you'd marry would be like?"

Zak blinks in surprise, not expecting such a personal question. It was well received, though, and Zak managed to respond before Darryl could go into a panic. "I guess I spent a lot of my childhood imagining things," Zak laughed, but there was a certain hint of sadness behind the happy tone. "I would imagine these fancy dinner dates and ballroom dancing, even though I guess I always knew that would probably never be the case."

Darryl listened intently, not daring to speak up and break Zak's train of thought. "I always imagined she'd be-" Zak continued before getting cut off by Darryl. "You imagined a she?" Darryl asked, throwing his previous idea out the window, feeling the hurt settle heavy in his bones. 

Zak shifted uncomfortably, looking away and sighing. "Yeah, I guess I did." He nods as further confirmation, and Darryl swallows hard, turning his head away as well. 

Zak feels the awkward energy piling up between them and knows that no matter how honest he has to be, something has to stop this, because he just needs Darryl to be Darryl right now. "But now when I think of those things I see you."

Darryl turns his head around swiftly, eyes wide and shocked as his mouth falls open slightly. "I guess it's a lot easier to imagine now since I've actually met you," Zak mutters, eyes gently closed as he tries to picture himself somewhere else, talking to himself.

"But I do. I see myself with you now. And I really tried to deny it to myself but I can't just keep denying this," Zak began to ramble, his words gaining emotion quickly. "Because I really, really like you and I think you're way too good for me and I-"

"Zak, can I kiss you?"