Eren x Reader: Maybe This Christmas

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~(Y/N)~

The light of morning woke me from my deep slumber, making me groan upon realizing it was morning already after what felt like two seconds of sleep. Grumbling, I turn to face the other direction, away from the window and hope to fall back asleep. Minutes pass by slowly as I stare at the empty spot beside me.

My hand rests on that spot remembering who once occupied it, and felt my heart begin to clench. Turning back towards the window, I slowly sit up and let my feet hand off the edge of the bed. Outside I could hear carolers walking by singing the songs they sang last year...and the year before. Before I used to enjoy waking to the sound, now it was like an alarm that wouldn't shut up.

Getting up, I head over to my closet, grab some clothes then stumble into the bathroom. I slowly, tiredly get ready, once I was finished I walk out of the bathroom, through the bedroom and into the main living space. Over by the front door, I slip on some boots then head out. Before going anywhere I shoved the sidewalk that had been covered with a fresh blanket of snow from last night.

Afterward, I headed out I went to the local church where I ran into his mother. Still saddened by the events that took her son, we sat together in the far back listening as the priest read some verses. Silently, Carla and I sat in the back looking at our feet while holding hands. Here and there I'd hear her whisper prayers.

When we both decided it was time to leave we stood outside the large doors, I force a smile as she hugs me. "You're always welcome to come spend Christmas with us, I know you and Eren had your own tradition...but you can make new ones," she says.

"Thank you, I'll consider it," I mumble.

We said our goodbyes then I was off on my next stop of the day, the bar. Despite it being early, I didn't really care much because when I walked in I found a few other people sitting around drinking. It was the same bar Eren and I first met, so it holds a special memory for us both. Walking up to the counter, I greet the bartender then order a drink. Eren's favorite drink.

Luckily it wasn't so busy right now, but it may be later since it is Christmas. Sitting there sipping at the drink, I watched the TV before me play sports, thinking back I wondered why I stumbled into a place like this on my own.

~Flashback~

It was a long day after work, and I needed a drink. Walking into the closest bar, I trudge over to an empty stool and climb up onto it. Ordering my drink I watch the bartender get to work, glancing over I noticed a brunette man staring at me.

Looking away then, I patiently wait for my drink and look up at the TV. They had sports playing, I watched for a little while but noticed from the corner of my eye that the same brunette man came and sat down beside me. A little uncomfortable I scoot my chair away from him slightly so there was plenty of space between us.

When I got my drink, I quickly took a swig only for it to go down the wrong pipe making me cough. Covering mouth I let out a few coughs then feel a hand rest on my back. "Are you alright?" the brunette man asks. I look to meet his worried gaze, as I was met with his ocean blue eyes my coughs stop momentarily. Oh wow. His eyes were really pretty.

"Y-yes..just drank to fast I guess," I mutter before letting out another cough.

"I can get you a glass of water," he suggests.

Nodding I continue to cough a little more not being able to contain it. The man orders water for me and I watch as the bartender sets down a glass after filling it. The brunette at my side hands me the drink and I gulp it down in hopes to soothe my burning throat. Sighing I set the glass down and sit there for a moment. "Thank you, sorry about that," I mutter.

"No problem, I'm Eren," he greets.

Smiling I glance at him from the side, "(Y/N)," I reply.

~Flashback Over~

It was so long ago it seemed, but it was truly the beginning of something beautiful. The memory still made me smile, despite that his light had left my life.

I finished my drink quickly, paid the man then headed back on home for a little while to carry on with my traditions. Upon entering, I toe off my boots by the door and shimmy off my coat before hanging it on the hook. Then slowly walking down the hallway, I glance at the pictures, the same pictures Eren and I hung up when we first moved in. It started out small but he always said we'd do more things and take more photos for us to hang up. And we did, as my eyes dart to each frame I smile as the memory played for each image I gazed at.

My shoulders slump as I continue down the hall then make a sharp right into the living room. Coming up in front of the tv I pull out a small box containing SD cards with home videos Eren and I made some were around this time, others were just at random points in our relationship. Let's just say I spent the afternoon reminiscing, as I watched the videos.

~Time Skip~

It was late that night, Mikasa had invited me to come out with her and some friends to celebrate but I told her maybe another time. Unplugging the Christmas lights, I let out a tired sigh.

Holding myself I slowly walk out of the living room and stop in the hallway. It has been some time since I visited. Walking over to the front door, I slip my foot into my boots then pull my coat on. Stepping out into the bitter cold, I get into my car.

As I drive through the darkness outside of town, I came to the electric pole with a white cross on it. Pulling up alongside the road, I put my car in park and slowly get out.

Walking around the front, I come up to the pole and kneel in the snow a bit. There on the cross was Eren's name with his birth and death date. They had to replace the pole after the accident but I always remembered. He was late, and it was Christmas eve. I was at home getting dinner ready since it was my night to cook...the roads were bad and someone decided they'd drive home under the influence. Eren got hit head-on and his car crashed up against the pole making it impossible for him to get out.

The police told me that when they got there it was already too late, both the driver and Eren were dead. So sitting there with my knees on the snow, I always tried to imagine how he looked that night...probably tired, yet happy he was coming home. Sniffling softly, I start to wipe my eyes as tears begin to shed. Since the accident, this had become my new Christmas tradition. I sigh when I hear my phone go off, pulling it from my pocket I squint through the tears and find a text from Carla. 'I'm at your place, where are you? I want to make sure you're alright, you shouldn't be alone on Christmas.' Quickly wiping my eyes I text back saying I was on my way back.

Standing up straight on my feet again, I look down and sniffle. Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas. Turning back to my car I left the site and headed home where Eren's mother was waiting. 

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