𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋! | harry styles

𝐗

I forgot just how great it is to have a working mode of transportation. The trip to and from work is shorter, I don't have to catch a cab to and from the club, and, as Harry had said, I'm not late anymore. The thought that I could just jump in my truck and take off, drive far away until the roads stretch into the horizon and the city disappears in my rearview, is liberating. Liberating, and very, very tempting.

However small Harry thinks the gesture was, however easy he keeps telling me it was, the impact it's had is life-altering. The impact he's had on my life is... indescribable.

Sure, he still disappears for days on end, and sometimes he'll turn up on a Friday night with a swollen lip or a limp, but for the most part he's become a regular fixture at home. He swears he's happy to look after Cody on Friday and Saturday nights and refuses point blank to take payment. It takes me a few weeks to become truly comfortable leaving Cody alone, but every night I return to see him tucked up safe in bed I relax a little further. What's more, Cody is totally taken with him, almost smitten, and it's this that makes me happier more than anything.

Well, that and I like him, too.

I really like him.

It sneaks up on me, that giddy feeling that you get when you have a crush. The moments spent anticipating his arrival, counting the minutes until I see him, thinking about every little detail of our brief encounters, it feels silly and amazing all at once.

It takes me a while to admit to myself that it's not just a passing attraction, and when I do it's like the blushing and heart fluttering increase tenfold. In fact it's embarrassing the way my body reacts when he's around.

"Surely you have something better to do on a Saturday night," I joke, throwing a sweater on. "Hanging around a four-year-old isn't exactly your idea of an exciting Friday night, right?"

Harry looks up from the coloring book on the table in front of him, his green eyes watching from across the room. "You'd be surprised."

He and Cody are sitting close, Harry with his long legs tucked up under the kitchen table and Cody with his swinging back and forth. There are crayons spread out across the table, and Cody has his tongue captured between his lips as he colors.

"Well, you know you can let me know if you can't sit him, okay?" I say, slipping my shoes on. "You know... if you have a date, or... something."

The word date sticks in my throat like dry toast, and comes out quieter than I'd wanted it to. For some reason the sound of it rattles around in my head afterwards, bouncing against the inside of my skull like an echo. I force a smile as I look over at him. Harry just looks across at Cody who's in the coloring zone and completely oblivious.

"Yeah. I'll let you know."

I don't know why I even said anything. Just thinking about Harry on a date gives my stomach a sinking feeling, and I have to take a deep breath to cleanse away the ache that settles its weight inside my chest.

Some days I'm sure he feels the same way I do. I'll see a little flicker of something flash in his eyes, or he'll say something that makes me think that maybe I'm not alone in this, that maybe he might like me, too. But then nothing happens, we continue this little dance, and in the end I'm left feeling wound up and uncertain.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I sling my backpack over my shoulder and grab the car keys from the table beside Harry. "I'll see you boys later."

He looks up just as I turn back, and the way his eyes linger as they meet mine makes the rest of the world fall away and that little spark of hope ignite.

My mind spins and my heart flutters.

My God.

If that's what happens when he looks at me, I can't imagine what it would be like to actually kiss him.