Dark Valentine (Monster High; Book 1 of the DV Duology)

Chapter 14: Falling Fast

Jackson

It was nearing Christmas when I began to realize that the way I felt about Kieran was more than just friendship. I found myself falling for him. But it was different to any of the crushes I'd had in the past. This one was stronger, almost like it was much more real.

But I had to admit, I was also afraid.

I wasn't afraid of Kieran, and I certainly knew he wouldn't try to steal my heart. If he were going to do that, he'd have tried by now. But I'd gotten my heart broken before, and I didn't want that to happen again. My fear was that it might.

What made things seem a bit complicated was when Holt told me he liked Kieran, too. Hearing that from him was kind of surprising at first, since it had taken him a bit longer to consider Kieran a friend than it had taken me to do so, but it made me realize something.

Every person I'd ever been attracted to, Holt had been attracted to them as well. It seemed like that was one of those things we would always have in common with each other, and it was something I'd figured out a while ago. And in addition to that, Frankie had been right about one thing:

"You're the same guy underneath. I think that's what made me like you both. So I can't pick one of you over the other."

Both Holt and I knew that to be true even when she'd first said it, but I was now realizing just how right she really was. And honestly, both of those facts actually made things a little bit easier for the both of us when it came to relationships. Here's why:

Looking back, I think that if Holt and I hadn't been at each other's throats so much, we'd have figured out then that Frankie shouldn't have had to decide between us at all. She could have been with both of us and we could have made it work.

The fact that Holt and I were always attracted to the same person was actually a good thing, because it would be much easier for the two of us to both be dating one person, rather than trying to split our time between two people or something. And the more I thought about it, the clearer it was that the former was the only way for both of us to truly be happy, because neither of us would have to put our lives on hold for the other.

That was another worry of mine when it came to our feelings for Kieran though—even if he ended up liking one of us, it was highly possible that he wouldn't want to be with the other as well. And if that turned out to be true, then one of us would be heartbroken.

Holt and I actually had an in-depth conversation about all of this one evening via video messages—and for once we were on the same page. The only difference in how we looked at things was that Holt was actually encouraging me to tell Kieran how I felt, and encouraging himself to do the same. Here's how the conversation went:

"I think you're right about all of that, yo. It just sucks we didn't realize it sooner, ya know?"

"Yeah, but at least we know now. And honestly, my main concern right now is whether or not I should talk to Kieran about this. I mean—I really want to, but I'm terrified. You know about that already, though."

"I mean, I get why you're freaked and I am too, but I think we should go for it. It's not like we'll know what'll happen until we do, right?"

"You...you have a point. I'll think about it, okay?"

"Yeah, alright. But hey, I get permission to tell him how I feel, right?"

"Yeah, you can. And Holt...knowing how much I overthink things and how likely it is that I'll keep putting it off...you can tell him on behalf of both of us if you want to."

In his next response, he'd smirked. "Coward."

"Oh, shut it."

It was a rare thing for Holt to be the voice of reason out of the two of us, but it wasn't like he was incapable of it. His tendency to act impulsively just sort of got in the way a lot, that's all. And I was grateful that this wasn't one of those times.