Gandhi's Guide to Getting By

chapter twenty-four

Dad is upset. So is Mom.

"What do you mean you won't be writing your novel online anymore?" Dad says, "I was really enjoying your book."

Mom, who has come down for breakfast, agrees with Dad. "Your book is good, Emma, you should take this year and write. Gran, who is in the middle of buttering some toast for her and Ax, stops buttering. She and Ax have reached an ageement on the food. Anything Gran makes for the two of them - except Kool-Aid and Jello because Ax can't get past the psychological issues she has with anything consisting of food coloring and powdery substance - they sit and eat together.

"You can't stop writing," Gran says.

"I didn't say I was going to stop writing. I said I was going to stop posting."

"You mean it won't be public anymore?"

I look at Gran, confused. I know all eleven of my readers, except one. "You're reader anonymous3?"

"Yes I am," Gran says.

I look at Ax.

"What?" she says. She's on her phone, texting someone. "Haven't you heard? The family that reads together, stays together. I couldn't tell Mom and Dad and not tell Gran. "

Someone honking outside. It's Debbie, Linny's Mom. "Got to go," Ax says, "Linny and I managed to reserve the lab for a half hour before camp starts."

"What about your toast?" Gran says. "Also stay away from science labs. You should read the book I got you, it documents all these scientists who spend years in labs and start confusing themselves for God. It isn't normal, Alex, it just isn't normal."

Ax tells Gran to quit worrying. As for the toast, Gran can have it. I follow Ax to the door. "I cannot believe you told Gran," I hiss, "I wasn't exactly flattering towards her."

"Honestly, Emma, I was sort of hoping she'd read what you wrote and stop talking to us, but here's the thing. She actually thinks you're being complementary. I tried to tell her you weren't being complementary at all, but do you think she listens? Oh, and don't interpret Mom and Dad being upset to mean they think your book is so good. They're upset because reading your stuff was like reading your diary and now they'll have to go back to relying on me for their Emma updates. I've already informed them my rates have gone up so it's going to get pretty expensive."

"What do you mean you just informed them. I didn't hear you say anything."

"I sent them a text while we were in the kitchen."

"Here's a newsflash, Ax. If I stop posting, you won't be reading my book anymore either. And for the one millionth time, it's not about my life."

"Wake up, Emma, there isn't anything of yours I haven't been able to hack. And for the one millionth time, your book is so about your life."

"Okay, see, that's why I'm not posting anymore. I'm sick and tired of everyone reading my book like it's some sort of personal journal. It's not. It's fiction."

"Sure, Emma, you keep telling yourself that. See you."

I watch Ax disappear down the stairs and into Debbie's car. Inside, Mom and Dad have already finished their coffee and are getting ready to head to work, Mom muttering about how they have to have a talk with Ax concerning the illegalities of extortion. Mom promises Gran she'll be home by lunch. Gran asks me if I'd like Ax's toast. I tell her I have to go. I'm meeting Stella at Benton Valby in an hour. "About your blog," Gran says, "when exactly are you taking it down?"

"Probably by tomorrow morning. Why?"

Gran nods but doesn't answer my question. I throw her a kiss and grab my purse. Forty-five minutes later finds me walking through the front doors of Benton Valby. Stella is there, waiting, as is Ms. Green. "Brilliant idea, Emma," Ms. Green says, taking my hand in hers. "It's already been approved by the human resources department. And your new partner, here, is wonderful." Ms. Green leans towards me and whispers, "She told me the three rules wouldn't apply to me, and don't worry, I won't tell anyone else."