Chord ✔️

Chapter 59

Jax

I know Penn Hawthorne now. I mean, I really know him. Much more than I did after he rescued me from that creep all those months ago, much more than that day I went to his house to do our History homework and much more than I did at the away game in Baltimore. I knew virtually nothing about him then, but now I know plenty. And I don't like what I've learned. I've been to more than one party at Thornton Estate now and I've listened to Scar talk about him a little, so I have learned much more about him. And everything I've learned is negative. He's covered in tattoos for starters, as in not just his arms, all over. And I don't really like tattoos. His are pretty and they do really suit him, but still. I don't like them. He also smokes weed on a daily basis, which absolutely repulses me. I am not about drugs at all, and I don't wanna associate myself with people that do drugs. And last but not least, he sleeps with a different girl on an almost daily basis. I know this because Scar and Ryan have mentioned it, and I've seen him pretty much simulating sex with different girls at every house party he throws, besides the lame excuse for a party at his house last weekend after we left the beach party. I try so hard not to look when he's with a girl, but I can't help myself. It's...interesting. But that's not important! He's a total pig! I know all of this now.

...So why can't I stop thinking about him?

Maybe it's because, in spite of all that, I cannot deny how attracted I am to the boy. He's gorgeous, he really is. In his own dark, brooding way he is hands down the prettiest boy I have ever encountered in my life. Which is annoying, because I don't like him. And I don't like him because he has been so distant and weird with me ever since he touched my hand by mistake in his bedroom, and since he touched my lips on purpose in his sitting room, and since he tried to hit on me in Baltimore! There was a weird electric feeling between us on each occasion, but it doesn't need to be a big deal. It's not like I threw a fit about it. He's been avoiding me and pretty much blanking me ever since. He even started sitting next to some other guy in our History class so he doesn't have to sit next to me. Either that, or he doesn't show up to class at all. I tried talking to him one on one at that lame party the night of the beach party, but he pretty much completely ignored me as he sat there smoking weed in his small sitting room. I didn't mind at all when Lyra and Scar suggested going home early.

I think I know what's going on with him, but I don't understand the problem. He likes Scar. I know he does. Okay, he came on to me the night of the away game in Baltimore, but that's neither here nor there. He likes to sleep with girls, I know that, so he wanted to sleep with me that night. But I know he doesn't like me, and I'm sure he does like Scar. They've gotten so close, and I think she likes him too. I just don't understand why he would be so hostile towards me because he likes my friend. If anything, he should be sucking up to me and trying to get me on side for when he and Scar start dating. And I know they will, it's just a case of 'when'.

I need to stop thinking about it though. It's consuming my thoughts, and I've had enough. I need to move past this, whatever it is. And I fully intend to when I go out with Cameron this week. I like Cameron. He's nice, he has zero tattoos, he doesn't smoke weed, he doesn't go to parties at the Estate. He's a good boy. He's husband material, and that's what I want.

Well, it's what I think I want. It's what I should want.

The night of the date, and I'm feeling good. I have a positive feeling about Cameron, and my parents do too. He picked me up (he actually drove up to my front door and rang the bell) and he was a perfect gentleman with my parents. Dad loved him of course, and mom had her reservations of course. But it's fine, she was always gonna be like that the day I took a boy to the house. We made the necessary small talk before leaving. Cameron wanted to go some place nice for dinner, but I convinced him that we should just keep it casual; not put too much pressure on things. So we're at Marley's, the best diner in town. Cameron's from Ohio, so I'm really enjoying his excitement over the food at Marley's. It is awesome. Our conversation flows; we laugh, we talk and we work on the foundations of what could be a real relationship. It's almost perfect. Almost, because about five minutes ago, Penn walked in. With Drake. And two girls.