Torn Apart

Chapter 3

Trigger Warning: Panic attack, cursing

Just keep walking, just keep walking, just keep walking. 

This mantra played on repeat in Remus head as he walked away from the one thing that had given him hope the one thing he needed more than anything to possibly have a normal life, but no he had to go and fuck it up didn’t he. 

Eventually he had somehow manged to walk himself outside. He wasn’t sure where he was going at this point. He eventually stumbled upon a bench, he flopped down onto it and curled in on himself his breahing becoming labored. 

He hurt someone. 

He made them bleed.

Roman didn’t reconginize him. 

Roman threatened him.

Roman hated him. 

He was a monster.

It really was all his fault.

He was disgusting.

He was just like his father.

At this point Remus couldn’t breath hardly at all. The world was blurring around him and he wanted more than anything for this to just stop. 

“Hey, can you hear us?” Someone placed a hand onto Remus. Remus body immedately pulled away. 

“Get the fuck away from me. Leave me the Fuck alone!” Remus screached at the person.

“Not untill you calm down. You are having a panick attack. I can help.” Remus couldn’t be sure but this sounded like a diffrent voice than the one he had heared before. 

Remus shook his head defintly and tucked hard on his hair. He couldn’t calm down.  He deserved this. “I ruined everything…” 

“Easy, there it’ll be okay.” The person said.

“No, no it’s not okay!” Remus cried his breathing becoming even more rapid if that was even possible. 

“Shh, okay, okay, easy there can you try and breath with me? Breath in for 4 seconds. Hold for 7 seconds. Then out for 8 seconds. Can you try to do that?” The one voice said.

Remus tried he really did. He got the in for 4 but he lost it after that. “I CAN’T” Remus gasped. Then growled in frustration.

“That’s okay you don’t have to get it right away. Just keep trying.” 

It took about five tries before Remus finally managed to get himself into the rythm, and it took a few minutes more before he started calming down. He finally managed to calm himself down enough that he could open his eyes. He saw two other guys knelt down in front of the bench. One was dressed in an over-sized grey and black jacket. He had messy brown hair that flopped in front of his eyes. He also wore dark eyeshadow that looked like bags under his chocolate eyes. His black jeans were ripped slightly at the knees. The other person was wearing a black t-shirt and black jeans. He wore a yellow belt with chains hanging from his pockets. He wore a yellow bennie and a single piercing could be seen on his right ear. He also seemed to have a large burn mark across the left side of his face, or it could have been a birthmark, Remus wasn’t sure. 

They both held a look of concern for the person sitting in front of them. “Better?” Asked the one with eyeshadow. Remus gave a small nod. Suddenly, Remus remembered himself. He wasn’t supposed to show weakness. He wasn’t supposed to let anyone in. And like a steel door slamming shut all the emotion on his face went away replaced with an ugly sneer. 

“Thanks, but I was fine I didn’t need -help from a black and yellow bumblebitch and his side whore Mr. Dark-and-gloomy.” Remus said sarcastically.