WITHERING LOVE

Chapter 45

Ilang buwan na naman yung nakalipas
I tried applying at the airlines while I'm trying to move on
Naisip ko na, I should get myself busy
Para naman makalimutan ko yung nararamdaman ko

As usual, I applied to multiple airlines
I got a lot of interview offers
But I chose the airline that I really like to work for
Napasa ko naman yung interview

Mga ilang araw yung lumipas at tinawagan na nila ako
Saying that I got the job
And I will be joining their team
I was very excited, na may kaba din

My parents and Ace' parents are now living seperately
Yes, my mom was mad kase nag cheat si Ace
Pero di naman sila nagalit sa parents niya
Di naman sila yung nanakit sakin kundi yung anak nila

But they were ashamed of what Ace had done

I left them in toronto
The job that I applied to was in Alberta
Gusto ko lumayo sa toronto
Where all the memories of us still lingers

Gusto ko nang kalimutan siya
Kasama na din dun yung memories namin

My job right now is not as a FA
But I am a ground crew that works at a check in gate
May training pa rin naman yun
Atleast may ginagawa ako

While I was working in Alberta I met a lot of new friends
And they were also very good

Isa na dun si Jade, he's gay and we became bestfriends
We worked with the same shifts everyday
At naging roommate din kami

Sinabi ko din sa kanya sa I was living alone
I was new here in Alberta and I don't know anyone
Kaya ayun since he was moving out, share na lang daw kami ng apartment

Very outgoing person siya
Dahil sa kanya nakakalimutan ko din yung mga problema ko
Ashley was a bit jealous nung nag kwento ako sa kanya
Pero she was okay with it
Basta masaya daw ako

And then there's Dean
Isa din sa mga kawork ko, and he's also my good friend
He's very nice, may sense of humour, cute, gwapo at matalino rin

Sometimes the three of us, with Jade hangs out
They took care of me since bago pa lang ako sa airline

They made sure na comfortable ako while working.
And it just created a friendship between the three of us
Pwede naman yun diba? Having a guy friend?

We always hangs out at this coffee shop near the airport
Ngayon coffee is a must na kung airport ang trabaho
Me and dean always go there for a coffee

Wala namang namamagitan samin
Pero yung ibang co-worker namin
They always teases us

Since we're already close friends
I told Dean about Ace and me
I told everything to Jade too

I had to be honest with them
I told them I still love him hanggang ngayon
At di nawala yung pag mamahal ko sa kanya
Kahit ilang buwan na din yung lumipas
At kahit na he cheated on me

And it's so good to have friends that are understanding 
And I know they think I'm stupid that I still love him kahit na may iba na siya
Pero wala eh, ganun talaga eh

Me and Dean is working together today
Si Jade naman day off niya, kaya baka nag walwal yun today

I was sitting in my area ready open the gate for check in
"Hey Alex, how are you doing?" Tanong ni Dean sakin
"Im good, how are you?" Balik kong tanong sa Kanya
"Im feeling great" he said smiling while on his way to his area
Napangiti na din ako dahil sa kanya

Biglang lumapit yung isang kawork ko sakin
"Alam mo, feeling ko may gusto sayo si Dean, bakit ayaw mo pa kase?"
Pabulong niyang sabi sakin

"You know why I don't want to yet" sagot ko naman sa kanya
"Dahi ba sa Ace na yun?" She rolled her eyes while looking at me
Alam mo kung bakit nila alam? Yang Jade si kase
Napaka daldal, I don't mind it though. Ace and I broke up

Tska okay lang malaman nila, I think Jade only told them na may ex na ako
At si Ace yun

"Bhe, you broke up months ago, move on move on din ha. Look at him, he doesn't even need to move on. Meron na nga agad iba eh!"

Muntik ko nang tapunan nang kape tong babae na to eh, buti na lang nasa work kami

"Huy! Di ganun kadali yun!" Sabi ko sa kanyang naiinis and I almost shouted too
"Okay fine fine, if ever na gusto mo lang naman. Dean just there waiting for you"
She raised her eyebrows and I just smiled at her sarcastically

One of the managers walked in and my co worker went back to her area
Ibig sabihin ready na ang lahat at mag oopen na yung gate so we could check in the passengers
Just by looking at it
Mukang mahaba yung pila sa airline namin

Kahit apat na area pa yung bukas saamin
Magiging busy pa rin kami
Hays, bakit ba kase ang daming uuwi nang toronto ngayon

I want those days kung saan chill lang kami
Yung nakakapag kwentuhan pa kami
I don't even know when was the last time and ang tagal na yata nun

Its been busy this past few weeks
Malapit na kase mag spring
Eventhough there's still snow
Tuloy pa rin yung mga flights
_________________________
Finally! Day off ko na
Dean and I are at the coffee shop as always
Relaxing and just hanging out
I've been observing him

At parang di siya mapakali
I have a feeling na may gusto siyang sabihin sakin
Di ko alam kung ayaw niya or he can't find the timing to say it

Since he's been like that since earlier
Ako na lang yung nag decide na tanungin siya na lang
"Do you have something to say?" Tanong ko
Cause I feel like somethings bothering you" dagdag ko pa

Bigla siya sakin napatingin
"what? No, it must be the caffiene, yep coffee" he awkwardly laughed
Parang iba talaga eh, tumango lang ako sa kanya
Letting go of the thoughts

We stayed quiet for a while
Tapos maya maya lang din eh nag salita na siya
Breaking the silence between us

"Do you wish you could have Ace back again?" Bigla niyang tanong
I never expect him to ask this question
And I was taken back
I looked at him, and was hesitant to speak
I don't know what I should say

I slightly smiled at him
"Well, if we were meant to be then we are, and yes sometimes I wish I could"
He just nodded and I looked down at my coffee
Pero parang di yun yung sagot na hinahanap niya

We stayed at the coffee shop for a while
Nakalimutan naming napag usapan namin si Ace
We changed the topic and talked about other things instead
I looked at my watch

I forogot that today was my doctors appointment
Para sa health check up ko
"Uh Dean?" Tawag ko at tumingin siya sakin
"Im sorry but I think I have to go, I forgot that I have an appointment today"
Sabi ko sa kanya and he just nodded

Inayos ko na yung mga gamit ko and stood up ready to leave
Until he called my name
"Alex!"
I froze on the spot that I was standing
Di ako lumingon

"Why do you keep holding onto someone who doesn't love you anymore?"
He asked, di pa rin ako lumingon
I just smiled bitterly and walked my way out of the coffe shop
Leaving him there with his unanswered question.

Just being honest, di ko rin talaga alam yung sagot dun
Why am I still holding on? Bakit di ko na lang tanggapin na di na siya babalik
Bakit umaasa pa rin ba ako? Kahit alam kung may iba na siyang mahal?
Ewan ko rin, is it because I still love him?