Just a Dream (Nian "NIna and Ian")

unexpected

Time pass by but since he told me that his going to move somewhere with his family our conversation through text and phone call getting less and less until the night his sister text me that they are already out of the country that he dont have time to say goodbye to us his friends after that text we only have limited time talking to each other but i understand him coz im going to appreciate everything his doing just to talk to me. I dont know what going on in his life that we are in a long distance relationship but thats ok as long as we still have connection but that also the time that we are not the same as before. I remember when he say that long distance relationship 20% only works and 75% didnt but he didn't explain clearly about the remaining, i didn't question him coz i already that that's his way of telling me that our relationship have no way going to work. I love still even i know that his not the same, we dont have a strong bond to continue what we have but its still hurt thinking the way we end up. Every night phone call become once in a while, he didnt text me anymore and just like that we totally loss contact, i try to text his mom to ask how his he, message him to his facebook but got nothing. Eventually i stop but im still texting him once in a while but not like before that i look like an obsessed girlfriend. I just focusing on my study taking out my mind to him but i cant help to cry myself every night before go to sleep i miss him, i love him and i regret that i didn't give my all love to him. Being heartbroken is hard, painful, full of regret and make you go crazy questioning myself what i did wrong, why we end up like this. I question myself over and over but i couldn't give up and move on coz yeah i love him so much.

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Unexpected happen that in a long time Ian just make himself known by texting me back but the relationship between us is like just an old friend like we dont have past that i cant say that we still have something we need to be clear but i got contended what his going to give to me, if he act like there's nothing between us its ok I'm just happy that he still remember me.

Then again unexpected happen like a bubble his gone like before and i got hurt over again. He's a living torture in my life but i still love him. I never entertain someone coz i dont want to lie to myself that i move on that im ok having relationship again i have fear to love again after him coz his my first.

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Years of still waiting if his going to appear in my life again but it never happen... So here i am on the process of moving on, all those years
i already give up on him. Because of that i really value myself and appreciate what the world give to me.