ELIZA

T•H•R•E•E

When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. 

All my life nothing was foreign to me. I knew the people around me since I was born and I was able to memorize Wingless Court even with my eyes close. If you had given me an eye patch and said, so now take me to my favorite bar blanco moon I would show the way immediately. It was my first time today that I was walking through a completely strange city alongside with a completely unfamiliar person. I was afraid, afraid that people would run and push me. Screaming in my face that I'm a dirty liar and that I'm not welcome. However, the people here paid no attention to me. And I didn't know why. They all knew I was a murderer, so why not look at me? Were they afraid? Afraid that I would hurt them? But they didn't all look anxious, they just paid no attention to me and I'm so thankful for it. So grateful to be a nobody in my life. No person. Not an individual. Just new. Only me. 

Palace. Powerful. Big. Breathtaking and scary at the same time. I stop and take a closer look at this gem. The city is beautiful, but this building is probably the most beautiful of all. So white, shining like a diamond, pure. I looked up, my head at my neck. I couldn't move my eyes away from this beauty and suddenly I felt so comfortable. So great, incredibly good even special.

Maybe Angus did me something good after all. Maybe he forgave me or maybe he secretly believes that I am not at fault. That I'm not a murderer? That people all need someone they can blame so that they can sleep well at night. An enemy to a story. A reason for a murder. 

"Welcome to the Nightmare Palace. I'm sure it looks more like a paradise, "the red haired gentleman next to me shook his head, laughing slightly, and I saw the wrinkles protruding from next to his eyes, which make him look much more likable.

"Ben!" I turn to the loud girly voice and see a girl with long blonde hair and a beautiful red silk dress running to us. Her hair flies wildly and her blue eyes shine with joy.

"Mary Lou, what a pleasure to see you again," lie, a forced lie. He didn't care, his eyes tell me. But his act told me more. If he was happy, his smile lines would be seen again and if he felt something for her, his eyes would shine like hers. But his eyes were disinterested even bored, his tone, monotonous, with no raising or lowering. Like a straight line.

"Likewise", she looked at me, his facial expression confused for a second but then knowing "Ah, you're probably Eliza, I'm happy to meet you", the girl was a bright sunshine and I forced a small smile and nodded my head back once, to let her know that I somehow was also happy to see her.

"Is Arran already here?" Ben asked and unwantedly saved me from this uncomfortable situation.Ms. Sunshine 's face changed and she scrunched up her thin blonde eyebrows and looked at Ben worriedly. 

"The king is here and said you shouldn't dare to show up again."

"Ah what? Shit completely forgot to put his sword back in its bed. "

He didn't mind that the king was dissatisfied with him, but he also called him by his first name and only family and friends could call a king by name. What was he to him, friend or family? I guess friend, otherwise Mary Lou would greet him differently.

"Why is he always there so early," he sighs, "Okay, well, then I'll bring her where she is supposed to be, was nice to see you Mary Lou, we need to get going."

She nods and walks away from us in the opposite direction. I've never been as happy as Mary Lou. I keep asking myself how people manage to be so positive, keep a smile and be so optimistic. When I think back now and look at all the 21 years I've lived, I wonder why, why I didn't laugh more when there was a reason, why I wasn't happy when there was a profit, why I was so dissatisfied with myself when I was one step away from my happiness. You should enjoy every moment before it gets too late. And unfortunately I learned that too late. However, maybe I could work my way up here, maybe I could leave everything I have experienced, everything that I am not, behind me. Maybe one day I can close my eyes without remembering the dirty and lousy times. All the pain, sadness, betrayal and lies. Maybe I could live again and if I could, I want to do it better, so much better, so much more unique. Worth so much more and when I'm at the end of my last breath, maybe I can then remove my soul from my body with a clear conscience. Knowing that I lived my life the way I watend to. That I never ever regretted anything. That I said things the right time. That I did things when it was supposed to be done.

"Soldier Eliza Angavin a plesuar to finally meet you".

Green-brown eyes stared at me with half a smirk. His voice full of sarcasm. His eyes shining with power, interest, intelligence and wisdom. When I said that king Miles Angus Mcknight is a real king, I didn't know that there were other kings out there that fit even better into this role. His striking face, full lower lips and slightly broken nose fit so well together. King Arran Wendchardson was a separate world, its aura and appearance more powerful than a lion among humans. Ready to destroy, but if you feed it, it will remain silent.

He sat there, one leg over one thigh, his hands calm and casual, his eyes like fire but water at the same time. It burns, but is cool at the same time. Minus and plus. His eyes are playing with me but at the same time they are serious.

I just look him in the eye, I don't know what to say. Did I have anything to say at all? Was there anything I could say?

"You're a soldier, aren't you? Although you look more like a 17-year-old student who stoned too much and was caught by a teacher. Come love sit down, "he pointed to the many chairs with his right hand. But I was so caught, so overwhelmed with the situation that I couldn't move.

"Come on I don't bite. Unless you want me to."

I finally sat down on a chair. I tried to calm down my racing heart. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm. Why was I so nervous all of the sudden? Maybe because he called me a soldier. Maybe since that day nobody ever called me like that. 

In that moment I hated that I was still hoping, hoping to be that soldier again. That ruthless girl, but I was not. And I wouldn't ever be her again. 

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