Warrior Oc Rater (Closed)

Bearclaw

Petuinaflower
Name: Bearclaw
A bit bland. But I like Bearpaw better                           ⬇️
Past names: Bearkit(Bearjaw int he Dark forest), Bearpaw
You can change names after death?
Future name: She still has a bit of hope to be Bearstar
Nothing wrong with that

Prefix: Her appearance, brown fur, Bigger than her siblings and her deformed short tail.
So she pretty much looks like a bear.

Suffix: her strong paw that she lets show has long claws other than the rest.
Very bear like in appearance I think.

Description: Brown fur with some darker shade of it around her neck fluff and her short tail. Golden yellow eyes that even stand out in the dark.
I don't see anything wrong

Gender: female
Nice

Rank: warrior
Warriors are good

Past ranks: kit, Apprentice

Age: Oh.. I'm not quite sure. If Rattlebite was about close to thirty moons and bear was born before him I'd say thirty- two? Three maybe?
Something around there

Clan: Fractalclan
To this day I have no idea if I've been pronouncing this correctly or not

Personality: She's Protective of family she cares about and friends. She sometimes is motherly to younger cats and spends a lot of time socializing with friends and family. She doesn't get hurt by words anymore. She takes insults more easier.
Bearclaw needs way more flaws to even it out.

Likes: Her mate Tornspirit ( Jetstone318 ), her family, She likes taking and training with her Apprentice.
Sweet

Dislikes: Hawkflight. She wants to murder him.
I don't blame her to be honest after everything.

Kin: Poppythorn, Hawkflight (-By_Legal_Matters ), Sparkclaw, Poppyseed, Greywatcher, Astercry, Robinchaser
Ooh you forgot about Robin's kits.

Mate: Tornspirit (@Jetstone318 )
A scarred brown yellow furred tom but she loves him dearly. She had a crush on? him but soon it developed more. Even when her friend Bonesnap hates him, she still loved him and became his mate.
This was sorta difficult to read, maybe it's just me.

Crush: Tornspirit
Course.
Mentor: Pinestar.
They had a few good times
That's good to hear.

Apprentice:
Fennelpaw, she lives training with him. She believes he would be a fine warrior
If he ever becomes one

Backstory: (*inhales* here we go)
Oh gosh

Bearclaw was born far from Fractalclan nursery since her mother Poppythorn didn't want any questions about them yet and with her friend Greystep helped with her kitting.
Speak of why in more detail.
A bit after her other friend Feralstrike (Who's now Bearclaws Step-father) showed up to help and talk. After that Hawkflight and Hawkstar showed up and Feralstrike was told to leave. Poppythorn was told to either give up half the kits or see Greystep get hurt. She didn't want to see her friend hurt or worse, she let them chose who to take.
Ha.
Bearclaw and her siblings, Sparkclaw and Poppyseed were taken away.

After awhile Bearclaw as a kit grew close to a She-cat named Peebee who taught her not all things end in fights and to not listen to childish insults.
I remember Peebee
(She's chubby and Sparkclaw called her fat which made her angry when she was younger). She only saw her father once during her Kithood.
Which would affect her quite a bit right?

As an apprentice she was determined to be a strong warrior which led to training in the dark forest from Rosebark and Jackal. She bonded with a few other Apprentices. Rattlepaw and Bonepaw. They were friends but she was close to Rattlepaw for awhile.
Then she met someone else.
After learning about her family though from Greystep who had died and was in Starclan. Doesn't make much sense.
She didn't see Rattlepaw again as she focused more on her training outside the dark Forest.

Over time she and Bonesnap were pretty close. They became best friends. It wasn't until later when she learn Bonesnap liked her. She didn't love him though, because she already had someone in mind. That was Tornspirit.
You could say: she didn't love him back thought, someone else had caught her attention, Tornspirit.
She saw past his scars and when
as instead of when
they talked she felt like they were truly understanding of
leave out of
each other.
But she felt like her training wasn't that great and jumped back into the dark forest.
Training underwent by Pine?
She started? training under Wendigo and Rattlebite. She also trained under MantisFleck (Foxmaster3212 ), Bonesnaps brother. Who later admitted he also liked her who she basically friendzoned.
She's getting all the fellas
Along with that, she visited her old friend Rattlebite more often and more and more frequently.
Outside of training, add that in.
He did not like MantisFleck also visiting Bearclaw and luckily didn't kill him once he saw them talking with each other.
Doesn't make sense

Bearpaw soon got her warrior name and became Bearclaw along with being mates to Tornspirit. She went on to now carrying his kits currently, though Rattlebite still wants to be there for the kits but she fell out of touch with Bonesnap along with MantisFleck dying.
A lot of this didn't make much sense but I understand when typing a fair amount of content in the comment can be difficult.

I feel like you could probably work of Bear's appearance and personality more and just fix a few things up in the back story, I rate Bearclaw 6/10