EVERYTHINGOES.

004

¨̮

DEAR DIARY

it's not fun.

it's not fun harming yourself for 16 days straight.

it's not fun being forced to betray your best friend. you wouldn't think it's fun to poke your arm with a needle multiple times, either.

how about watching horror movies the whole day? maybe that seems fun. or even listening to the same song the whole day, instead. over and over.

would it be exhilarating or horrifying to be sitting on a rooftop at 4:20 in the morning by yourself with your legs dangling off of it? maybe replace that rooftop with a bridge. not yet? how about a crane?

it's not fun.

it's fucking exhausting.

it's fucking exhausting to have to wake up at 12 o'clock every single day just to finish a task where the main goal is harming yourself.

self-harm is getting a blade and gliding it across your wrist in anticipation, but self-harm is also staying up even when you're tired. self-harm is not eating even when hungry. self-harm is doing something you dont want to do. it doesn't have to be physical harm, you know.

SEITAE
hi

YOONCHILD
hi

SEITAE
i just wanted to see if you were doing okay

SEITAE
last time i saw you

SEITAE
you looked sad

YOONCHILD
i wasn't sad i was just a little bit tired

SEITAE
i can tell that's a lie

SEITAE
that's an old one

SEITAE
yoongi

YOONCHILD
hi

SEITAE
if you're not feeling great you can tell me

YOONCHILD
no i swear i was just tired

SEITAE
why were you tired?

YOONCHILD
i just didn't sleep well

SEITAE
did you stay up late?

YOONCHILD
yes

SEITAE
that's self-harm, you know

YOONCHILD
i know but i didn't mean to

SEITAE
please don't do it again

SEITAE
i want you to get better

YOONCHILD
i know

why are you awake right now?

DEAR DIARY