What a NIGHTMARE!

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Sunday

Last night we couldn't watch TV or do anything in the room because Damian was asleep on the pullout sofa.

Dick wouldn't even let us keep the light on, so all three of us just sat in the dark for a while until me and Jason decided to go down to the pool to kill some time.

Well, the sign outside the motel said there was a pool, but there was no actual WATER in it.

And it didn't look like there HAD been for at least five years.

There was a hot tub near the pool that DID have water in it, but some family was already using it. So me and Jason waited our turn.

Unfortunately, the family couldn't take a hint that we wanted to use the hot tub, so eventually me and Jason just went back to the room.

The lights were still out, and Dick were asleep on the mattress. I guess he must've been pretty exhausted, because he was still wearing all his clothes.

With Dick taking the whole bed and Damian on the sofa, it didn't leave a lot of good sleep options for me and Jason.

We checked the closet for a cot or an air mattress, but there was nothing.

Jason was one step ahead of me, though. He gathered up the sofa cushions and made a bed for himself on the floor. Five seconds later, he was out cold.

I figured the closet was as good a place as any for me to sleep, so I got some towels out of the bathroom and laid them on tbe floor.

After lying there for a minute, I noticed a TERRIBLE smell and thought a mouse must've died in the vent or something.

I tried covering my nose with a washcloth, but that seemed to make the smell even WORSE.

It was hard enough trying to fall asleep under those conditions, but then someone in the room started SNORING. Luckily, I was prepared for that. Dick and Jason BOTH snore, which is the reason I thought ahead and brought earplugs on the trip.

But it was so dark in the room I could only find ONE in my duffel bag, so I had to try sleeping with the earplug in my left ear and my other ear pressed to the floor.

I did actually fall asleep for a few minutes, but woke up to some kind of ruckus going on outside.

When I looked out of the peephole, I saw something flash by, but I could tell what it was. So I cracked open the door to see what was going on.

It turns out those kids from the hot tub had got their hands on a cleaning cart and were ramming it into a wall.

I couldn't BELIEVE these kid's parents were letting them run wild in the middle of the night, so I stepped out of the room and went over to give them a piece of my mind.

The littlest kid burst into tears and ran into his room, and I didn't feel bad for even one second. But a minute later his door opened again, and his FATHER came out.

I wasn't about to get yelled at by a grown man in his underwear, so I ran back to our room and locked the door.
Then I prayed with all my might that the chain lock was strong enough to keep him out.

I guess the kid's dad didn't see which door I went into, because he knocked on the wrong one. Then he pounded on the door right next to ours before giving up and going back to his room.

Once the coast was clear, I hung a little sign on our doorknob in case the guy decided to come BACK.

DO NOT DISTURB...

It was REALLY hard falling asleep after that, because everytime I heard someone outside the door I held my breath until they passed by.

Before I knew it, the sun was up and so was Damian. Dick turned on the television, abd whenever Damian watches TV he TALKS to it.

TV guy:" What sound does a duckie make? "

Damian:" QUACK! QUACK! "

I was a little annoyed with Damian blabbering away, but I guess I can't complain. I used to do the same exact thing when I was younger.

One time when I was watching my favourite show, the host asked a question.

TV Host:" What should I draw on this box? "

Tim:" I don't know... Polka Dots? "

I was just goofing around when I answered, but the guy on TV actually RESPONDED.

TV Host:" Ok, Polka Dots it is!"

I wish it never happened, though. Because for a long time after that I thought the people inside the TV could hear everything I said.

TV Dog: " And how are YOU today?"

Tim:" I could be better. My brother Jason- "

TV Dog:" That's GREAT!"

In fact, on my sixth birthday, Father ( Bruce ) had to sit me down and have a talk about the difference between " imaginary " friends and " real " friends.

Tim:" Hey, did you happen to see what my father got me? It's a bike, isn't it? Blink once if the answer is yes!"

Bruce: * sign*" Oh boy."

Once Damian got going in a conversation with his favourite TV characters this morning, I knew there was no point in trying to fall back asleep. So I just got up for the day.

And, when I did, I found out the source of that awful smell. Jason had put his shoes in the closet, and I had spent the whole night breathing in his fumes.

But even WORSE was that the " washcloth" I had used to block the smell was actually one of Jason's SOCKS.

Speaking of Jason, Damian's conversation with the TV didn't bother him one little bit, because he just slept right through all the noise.

TV:" Can you hop like a frog?"

Damian:" HOP! HOP!"

Jason: zzzzzzzzz

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 04, 2020 ⏰

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