[Completed] [Rewritten]
"I feel like I'm an artist. My brushes are my blades and my canvas is my wrist."
First chapter sucks, but I think the rest of it is decent . . .
❗❗Trigger Warning❗❗
Mentions of self-harm, eating disorders, depression and suic...
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warning: self-harm
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"I want him fired," Jimin said.
"Fired?" Namjoon asked.
"Yeah."
Jimin hadn't wasted any time. He had spent the whole night imagining how he could get rid of Dang Seung and he just wanted it to be over.
"You know how rude he is to Jin hyung? I'm sure you've seen hyung, I'm sure you've seen. I know that hyung gets hurt because of it. Like, look Jin hyung went through something traumatic and huge... like he literally got beat up on the street! And you think, him getting yelled at is helping him? He's literally breaking down-"
"Okay, okay." Namjoon held up a hand. "Okay, I'll see what I can do."
"Please."
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The managers easily agreed to get rid of Dang Seung when Namjoon told them of what had been going on in practice. A couple of them did say that the yelling was just some tough love, but Namjoon managed to convince them.
Tough love was one thing, but verbal abuse? A totally different ball game.
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Dang Seung got wind of his news only a few days later. He had been promptly sacked off his teacher position, and he had made sure everyone knew about how unhappy he was.
The last dance class he had with them was a practical nightmare. The slightest wrong move would make him launch into a tirade. Most of it was directed at Jin. Even if he wasn't the one making the mistake, he would be the one getting the attack.
"Ugh, why are you guys so slow? Jin, if you just moved your fat legs faster, then this wouldn't be such a problem."
"Jin!"
"I know I'm going to be leaving you guys soon, but know that if you guys continue to dance like this, you'll be made fun of online. Jin, I'm looking at you."
Jin was practically in tears by the end. He was done. He wanted to run and hide.
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Jin shuddered. Dang Seung came thundering down the hall. He tried to hide in a nearby doorway, but he was too tall. Dang Seung saw him easily.
"Jin."
He pushed him into the wall, keeping his hands pinned on Jin's shoulder. Jin couldn't move an inch. Terror froze him in place.
"Mark my words Seokjin," Dang Seung said. "I'm going to make your life hell. Don't forget that. You're bringing this group down."
Jin nodded as quickly as he could. He felt tears spring to his eyes. They rolled down his face. Silently, he begged Dang Seung to just leave so he could go home and rest. He hadn't wanted to cause trouble. He had just wanted to live.
Dang Seung glared one last time in his face, before letting him go.
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Tears blurred his eyes. He could hear the others having a hushed conversation in the living room, but he felt like he was miles away. Jin was standing by himself in his bathroom. Ever since he came home, he couldn't stop crying.
What had he ever done to Dang Seung? He had never been rude, never said anything offensive. He tried his best in dancing. He wasn't half bad. He was pretty good.
Why was he such a failure? Why couldn't he do anything right? He sucked, he couldn't do anything right, he was bringing his group down, he was stupid, he was ugly...
The tears were falling faster now. Jin sniffed. There was snot sliding down his nose now. Great. The scene around him was blurry.
I've seen it in movies. It can't be that bad right?
He ripped open the cabinet. All of a sudden, he was breathing hard and moving quickly. He didn't know why he felt compelled to do this. There were old razor blades at the back. He took one out, somehow had the sane idea to wash it, and then lined it up with his wrist.
With one clean swoop, he cut a large slit into it. And then another. And then one more. Three was his lucky number. Blood slowly starting making its way out of the cuts, too slow for his liking. But Jin didn't dare cut any more. This was just a one time thing.
He watched the blood draw neat lines on his wrist before he washed it all away, wrapped a bandage on, and pulled down his sleeve. Jin washed his face.
Somehow, he felt better. He was alright. As long as he could hide everything, he was alright.
