Second Date

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After our first kiss, things with Matthias became a little awkward, which wasn't unusual for us, but it became a different level of awkward, one that I'd never really experienced. It was an unspoken agreement that we wouldn't tell anyone, not even our families, and that made everything we said hold a weight to it that just wouldn't lift. 

I stopped by his locker on Monday, hoping that actually talking to him would maybe lift a little weight from my shoulders. 

"Hey Matthias," I greeted. When he made eye contact with me he nearly jumped out of his skin. A small panic settled into his eyes in the brief moments that we made eye contact. He averted my eyes to his locker and the books he was pulling out of it. 

"Um, uh-" He sucked in a deep breath before smiling weakly and turning to me. "Hey, Eira." He bit his lip and then examined his fingers, picking at his cuticles. It shouldn't have been this awkward to talk to him.

"How are you?" I asked, feeling anxiety sweeping over me like a contagious disease. Suddenly I felt nauseous and dizzy. My hands quaked a little, so I shoved them in my pockets. Deep breaths, Eira. 

"You know, just peachy!" On a normal day this would've been enthusiastic, but today his words sounded forced and slightly pained. "How are you?" I could visibly see his nervousness. 

"Fine." My voice cracked a bit on the 'i' of the word. I could've cut the tension with scissors. 

Things had never been this awkward with Matthias! I was frustrated at the thought of things never being normal again. This couldn't happen. Not to us. Not to the dream couple that we are.

"I've got to get to class. Art class waits for no one!" he whimpered, lacking all joy and charisma that the words should've contained. Maybe it's because it was a lie. Mr.Mills wouldn't have even noticed if Matthias wasn't there. He probably wouldn't have cared if he did notice. 

"Yeah," I sighed. "I'll see you later." I turned and headed towards music. The music teacher Mrs.Dunoffy was, in the kindest of terms, insane. She was disorganized, stressed, had no lesson plans, very impatient, and expected everyone to excel in her class, regardless of background or musical experience.

But I really didn't care today. 

I was barely paying attention in her class today. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. We were discussing scales, something which I happened to know quite a bit about, so it wasn't fatal that I was a little bit out of it. No, not a little bit. Totally-separated-from-the-reality-surrounding-me out of it. 

It even got to the point that some of my teachers asked me if I was feeling alright. I responded that I was just a little tired, but I was honestly I was a little more than 'just tired.'

Then rolled around lunchtime. I sat next to Matthias at the edge of the table. When I normally would've been joking with him and shoving him with my elbow, I was slowly nibbling on my food, avoiding all eye contact with everyone.

Kirala, one of my friends, sat down on the other side of the rectangular table. She's always happy and very enthusiastic about eveything, but today she stared at us for the longest time, just squinting and making faces, as if she were some sort of horrible detective. After a good five minutes she finally came to her conclusion.

"You got in a fight," she stated like her words were absolute truth. I shook my head, whereas Matthias lifted his  head and replied to her.

"Try again."

"Um..." She looked away and then focused again. "Your parents told you that they don't want you together becuase your families are in an ages long rivalry where they hate each other, so you are pondering killing yourselves for each other?"

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