Please Don't Help Me

Delilahs POV

Well at least now I know I'm not alone. Sky left a couple hours ago. We made each other promise that neither of us would ever cut again. I don't know if I'll be able to keep that promise though. It's been hard lately. I was happy for a while and everything was better but it's getting bad again. The guys think that I'm all straightened out and that the depression is gone. Their wrong though. The depression has only gotten worse. I WISH it was getting better but that's just not the case. I try to be happy. I don't even have anything to be sad about....but I just can't seem to smile. "Delilah!" Connor called my name from downstairs. "Yeah?" I yelled back. "Come down here." He said. "Why???" I whined. He let out a loud sigh and then came running up the steps. He ran into my room and threw me over his shoulder. I laughed as he carried me down the steps. "Connor put me down!!!" I screamed. "Fine." He groaned and dropped me on the couch. I smiled at him as he sat down next to me. That's when I realized everybody else had straight faces and they were staring at me. My smile faded and I bit my lip. "Is something wrong?" I stuttered. They all looked down at their hands. I grabbed Connors hand and squeezed it tight. Something's wrong....I can tell. I saw a tear drop from Kian's cheek. My heart dropped. "Guys..? What's going on?" I whispered. Jc took a deep breath. "Look Delilah...we think you might need help. We want to protect you and we think your depression might be dangerous for you. We talked to some doctors and we found you some help. You'll be staying in a hospital while we are on tour. They'll help you Delilah." He explained. I just froze up and every muscle in my body went tense. I couldn't move. Connor kissed my cheek and I could feel tears coming on. "No...please." Barely any sound came out of my mouth as I spoke. "Delilah it'll be okay...we promise." Ricky comforted me. I shot up. "What do you mean it's gonna be okay?!?! That's not freaking okay!" I screamed. "Delilah sit down." Connor told me. "Shut up." I snapped at him. He shut his mouth. "Delilah it's because we care about you." Trevor explained. "If you care about me you wouldn't put me in a damn mental hospital!" I cried out. "Calm down baby..." Connor tried to gently pull me back down onto the couch but I got out of his grip. I want Sam. I looked at Sam who was staring at me with tears running down his face. "Sam!" I cried and fell into his arms. "Sh sh sh..." He whispered in my ear as I bawled into his shirt. I felt arms wrapping around us and I was able to calm down. "Please don't make me go there. I promise I'll stop cutting. I promise I will!" I begged. "We...we're sorry Delilah." Kian said. I cried even more and ran upstairs to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. Fat, ugly, stupid, slut, whore. I should just kill myself now. Makeup was smeared all over my face and tears were streaming down my face. I looked at my arms covered in scars. It's not my fault I'm like this. It's not my fault....but they still blame me for it. I put my back up against the door and just cried. I'm sorry I'm such a screwup world....I'll try harder. Or maybe I should just leave. The world is a better place with me out of it.